Thursday, January 14, 2010

A New Year, A New Beginning

It's been a while since my last post.  In fact, I believe this might be my first one of 2010.  XH (yep, he has a new name) moved out on New Year's Day.  Well, he's gone, but most of his stuff is still at the house.  I cried that morning when we said good bye, but more for the loss of my doggies than for what was lost between us.  I haven't cried since. 


I've let go of most of the anger.  I have a lot of resentment towards how I was treated.  That probably won't go away.  I can't predict the future though. 


Lately I've been thinking about moving all of my old posts to the private blog.  I feel like I've let my dirty laundry hang out long enough.  I think it's time to reel in all of the past

life and tuck it into bed.  I'm debating what to do with all of my old FB albums.  I don't like denying the past, but all the pictures of XH and I beaming at the world seem a bit odd now. 


In hindsight, what we had wasn't a marriage.  It was a comfortable, convenient friendship.  I can see that now. 


I'm moving on.  I know it's too soon.  I'm sure that's what everyone will tell me.  But I've met someone and I'm happy.  I don't want to jinx it by saying too much.  Again, it's soon.  The relationship is still in its infancy.  But he meets all of the "dream guy" criteria I've had in my head for a long time now.  I started the criteria list long before XH and I even came close to breaking up.  In addition to meeting the "criteria", he takes my breath away when I look at him.  He listens to me and seems to "get" what I'm saying even though I'm not so good with the words.  He's caring and affectionate.  He gives the best foot rubs.  :)  I could go on and on.  It would be fantastic if it works out between us, but I'm trying to caution myself not to get too swept away.  I know it's too soon.  But I'm happy right now.  For the first time in an incredibly long time, I am happy, and for now, I'm going to enjoy it.