Anyway, as I was about to plug my phone into the car to listen to some tunes on the way into town today, my phone alerted me to the fact that H had sent me a FB message. I quickly read it, and then hit the road because I was worried I'd be late. I spent the entire trip living in my dream world... the one where they break up and he decides he's been a fool, begs for forgiveness (which I of course immediately grant, because I've never been able to say no to him), and we actually give a real relationship a go. (I'm not looking for the world here. Just a shot, that's all.) Twelve days ago I had pretty much banished such silliness from my head. And one message brings it all back.
I considered not replying. But I knew that the only reason I was considering it was to see if it encouraged him to try harder. That's playing games. I keep saying that I don't want to do that. So I replied a few minutes ago. Kept it quite short. Congratulated him on a recent accomplishment that he shared with me and thanked him for his compliments (apparently my new profile pic on FB wowed him.) It was a guarded message, similar to how I feel whenever he makes contact.
Maybe I should have just ignored it, but I need to be true to who I am. If I'm only ignoring it to get a rise out of him, then that's not the right thing for me to do. I keep saying I want to at least be friends... ignoring an attempt on his part isn't being a friend. Maybe eventually we'll have a real friendship. At least he's attempting to keep in touch... although, I suspect he's doing it from work now so that she doesn't know. Some FB creeping on her profile tells me that they're definitely back together (her profile pic of the two of them is an obvious giveaway.) So, once again I'm the secret friend.
Gah. I seriously need to move on. Now.