Friday, November 28, 2008

Sad for Humanity

Seriously, what is this world coming to? Have you heard about the Wal-Mart employee that was trampled to death when a crazy rush of people tried to take advantage of a sale? It's all over the news today.

I admit that I put far too much emphasis on material goods. That being said, I don't think I would ever put someone to harm in an effort to save a few bucks!

Since BB's arrival I find that I am starting to enjoy and appreciate the simpler things in life far more often. I feel like I'm a bit more in touch with a deeper part of myself and the world around me. I like this change in me.

I started my Christmas shopping last night. I bought a stocking for BB (I resisted buying the "Baby's 1st Christmas" stocking, and chose one that he can use year after year) a CD of children's songs for him, and an outfit. And to be honest, I don't plan on buying a lot more for him. I'd like to get him a good pair of shoes to wear as he becomes more mobile, and maybe a few books. I'll probably finish filling his stocking with necessities. I'm sure our families will buy plenty for him, since he is the first grandchild on both sides.

Speaking of BB's Christmas presents... I caved and bought some wrapping paper. But it's not what you think. DH made a good point... BB will probably be trying to eat the wrapping paper on Christmas morning. We'll obviously try to prevent it, but he suggested that we wrap BB's gifts in kraft paper so that we don't have to be quite so vigilant about him eating the dye from the normal gift wrap. I bought a huge roll of it last night for about three dollars... a lot less than I would have paid for the same amount of wrapping paper. Plus, I believe it can be recycled, wrapping paper cannot be. My resolution remains firm for the remainder of my gift giving - I still refuse to purchase wrapping paper or paper/plastic gift bags. When BB gets bigger and likes to colour, I'm sure he'll have a blast colouring on the remainder of the roll of paper.

Talking about BB has cheered me up a bit. I feel sad that he's growing up in such a crazy world, but I'll do my best to give him a social conscience. DH and I turned out to be decent people, surely we can raise BB to be a decent person too.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

My First Official Rant

The person covering my maternity leave, often forwards work-related emails to me here at home. He knows that I'm anal-retentive, and I think that he feels that I probably want to be kept in the loop. I don't. It only makes me dread going back even more. It's rare that the emails he forwards are good-news emails. It's all of the conflict that takes place on a daily basis. That conflict is a major reason why I don't want to return. Some would tell me to just delete the emails. It's not in my nature. Once they're in my inbox I need to read them. And save them. In case I need them when I return to work. OMG I hope I don't have to go back.

I picked up the pics tonight. I'm so disappointed in them. There is a shadow in the background in most of the pictures. The family pictures are hideous. My head and DH's head look like they've ballooned to 150% of their normal size. I was looking forward to having a nice family photo done, but they are some of the worst ones. BB is so adorable though--when I first looked at the pictures, some of them took my breath away. There are definitely some pictures there that will work for printing out to 5x7 or 8x10 as gifts for family. But the selection that I hoped for isn't there. I want to cry right now. The photographer asked me to email her and let her know what I thought of the pics. I did. And I was truthful. Not as blunt as I am here, but I did say that I was disappointed with the shadow in the background, but there are some that will work for my purposes. Because if I don't tell her the truth, how will she know to be cognizant of the shadows in the future? She's really nice, so I don't want to hurt her feelings. She didn't charge nearly as much as all of the other part-time photographers around here seem to charge, so I don't want to be too crabby about it. And I still am considering having her do outdoor family pics in the spring. Shadows will be less of an issues outdoors. On a white background, they're incredibly noticeable.

My first official rant and I managed to make it a double-whammy.

Baby & Family Pics

I'm getting a bit excited. Tonight I'm picking up the disk of pictures we had taken a couple weekends ago. The photographer says that there's some great shots of BB! Hopefully there will be a decent family pic in the bunch as well. I plan to give them out to family as part of their Christmas gifts. I really need to cut back this year, so hopefully they'll like these as a gift.

DH Is going to put BB to bed tonight so I can head into town. I'll probably run a few errands while I'm out, since I will actually have time to myself. This feels weird. I am having a hard time letting go, accepting that BB is starting to grow up and doesn't always need his mommy. But at the same time, I know a bit of time away is good for both of us. And time with alone with Daddy is very good for both of them.

I love my little family.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Six Month Update

We went for BB's six month needles yesterday. He has gained 13 oz since his last appointment two months ago, and has grown a little over an inch in length--he's now 17 lbs 13 oz and 27.6 inches long. I was fully expecting him to weigh in at 20 lbs! He's so heavy!

He barely whimpered when the first needle was given to him. The second needle was in the same leg and he screamed when that one went in. Then the third one was injected into his right leg. The nurse always warns us that this one will sting the most, and of course the screeching started. I'm getting better at not wanting to cry with him. I knew that he would be fine in a few minutes. Once the nurse left, I offered him my breast in case he wanted to nurse to pacify himself (he doesn't take a pacifier) but he only latched on for a few seconds. He preferred to use his two middle fingers on his left hand for pacification. He was completely finished crying by the time we were back in the waiting room, and fell asleep shortly after the car started moving. I'm happy that he doesn't need to have any more immunizations until he is 12 months!

BB made many friends in the waiting room. While we were waiting approx. 60 minutes to get into the office, an elderly lady from Windsor Court came in with her nurse. The elderly lady was very taken with BB. Her nurse ended up sitting next to DH, and BB was on the floor in front of DH in his carrier. The nurse spent most of the 60 minutes talking with BB and trying to get him to smile. Unfortunately he didn't have many smiles... he only napped for 45 minutes during the morning, so he was pooped by the time we arrived at the office! Luckily he wasn't crying, just stone-faced! She let BB play with her pass-card and key that she wore around her neck. (I was a bit disturbed by this since it was probably dirty. She wouldn't let him put it in his mouth, but I don't think she clued into the fact that his hands end up in his mouth too. Finally I produced his set of links that he loves playing with, in an effort to get her to stop letting him play with her card and key. I try to not freak out when people touch him and stuff. I don't want to raise him to be a germ-o-phobe, but seriously, people, please please please think before you touch someone's baby or give it something to play with!) Most of the people in the waiting room were amused by BB's interaction with the nurse. After the appointment while we were putting our coats on in the waiting room, a little girl who was probably about a year old came over to meet BB. It was so sweet. She didn't try to touch him or anything she was just checking him out, and he was giving her his stone-faced stare. Pretty cute.

Yesterday morning after BB had his sweet potatoes his left cheek turned very pink. When we arrived at the very warm doctor's office it started glowing pink. The same cheek turned pink the last time we were at mom & dad's when mom had made a very large fire. So I'm not sure if it was pink yesterday due to the sweet potatoes or the warmth in the office. By bedtime last night his cheek was fine. I fed him bananas today, and it's still okay. I'm going to try sweet potatoes again tomorrow and see what happens. But of course the red cheek was a cause for concern at the doctor's office... they always seem paranoid about everything. At least the doctor didn't try to give us yet another cortisone cream prescription for BB's cradle cap! So unnecessary!

After we returned home from the appointment yesterday, BB was his normal, happy self. Until bedtime. When I tried putting him in his crib he screamed and cried like he was in pain. It wasn't his, "I don't want to go to bed cry." It was definitely a, "I'm hurting!" cry. He was even trembling from head to toe. So I nursed him again, and he fell asleep. Again, when I put him in his crib he screamed and cried. I tried nursing him again to pacify him, but he refused to latch, he could only scream and tremble. I took him to the living room and rocked him until he calmed down. Once he had relaxed, I nursed him again and he instantly fell asleep. I tried again to put him in his crib and the screaming started. I walked around with him and that seemed to help. When I tried to lay down in bed while holding him he started screaming again. I took him back to the living room and rocked him until he was asleep. I held him for a few minutes and then took him to his crib. As soon as I stopped touching him the screaming started. I left him there for a minute to see if he might go back to sleep while I made a 30 second trip to the washroom. When I returned he was still upset. This time I laid him in the centre of our bed and snuggled up next to him. Within about three minutes he was sound asleep, sucking on his fingers. So he spent the night in between DH and me. Neither of us had a great night sleep, as a result; however, I'm not sure how else I would have been able to get BB to sleep last night. I think his legs were bothering him from his immunizations. The one nice thing about having him in bed with me was that when he woke up at 5am to nurse, I didn't have to get up. I just had to get us both positioned properly and we were both able to fall back asleep. Not that I want to co-sleep like this every night! Our bed is too small for that. He slept until almost 9am this morning. It was obviously as hard on him being up late last night as it was on me! When he woke up this morning he was his usual happy self. I remember he had a rough night after his four-month needles as well. I caved that night and gave him some Tempra (baby acetaminophen)--this was before I read the news article about a study that showed giving acetaminophen to infants greatly increased their risk of developing asthma. Last night I was going to avoid giving him drugs at all costs. It was obvious he didn't have a temperature, so the risk really wasn't worth it.

I don't have oodles of respect for my doctor. During my pregnancy, and now with BB, I'm noticing all sorts of things that indicate to me that he's not quite 'on the ball.' However, it was nice hearing him say, "Just keep doing what you're doing." Any sort of positive feedback is always appreciated. :)

Monday, November 24, 2008

I hate I-Cords

I mentioned in a previous post that I am knitting Booga Bags for a couple friends for Christmas. I have one bag finished and have just started the I-cord for the strap. Oh. My. Gawd. I hate making I-cords. It has to be 5-6 feet long. I have knitted about two inches and am ready to gouge my eyes out with my knitting needles.

Sunday, November 23, 2008


This has been one of the best weekends ever. We woke up with a blanket of snow yesterday, so DH ended up staying home with me and BB. I'm not fond of the snow, but it was so nice to have a family day. My brother and his girlfriend came over to visit with us in the afternoon, and my parents babysat last night while DH and I went to a surprise party for a friend.

It was a big deal for me to leave BB with my parents. They've babysat him before, but this time they had to put him to bed (sans nursing, of course!) But DH had no issues with putting BB to bed last Tuesday night when I went out with the girls, so we thought we'd give it a try. No issues at all! (Or at least none that my parents admitted to me!) He woke up at 23:20 looking to nurse, which was fine with me, especially since we had just gone to bed and I hadn't fallen asleep yet, and then he slept until after 07:00 this morning! It was nice to get out and see so many friends again, and it was great being out with DH too.

We're having another quiet day at home today. It's been wonderful lounging with a coffee and chatting with DH while BB plays. My friend KM called and told me that she is pregnant and due next June. I'm so incredibly excited for her! Right now BB is napping, and I'm making a big batch of sweet potatoes for him. I hope he likes them. Such a wonderful weekend!

Friday, November 21, 2008

At Peace Today

I'm having a great morning. BB woke up before midnight last night looking for a meal (he was so tired he hardly nursed at bedtime before passing out) and then stayed in his crib until 7:30 this morning. It's nice to feel rested.

Things I am feeling grateful to the universe for today...
  1. The morning sun shining into our living room, giving BB a beautiful glow as he giggles and bounces in his Jumperoo.
  2. Lots of food in our cupboards and fridge. I have a wonderful lunch of leftovers to look forward to. Yum!
  3. Living in Canada where we are given a year away from our jobs when our babies arrive so that we can give our children the best start possible. The pay isn't fantastic, but it gives you the opportunity to learn new methods of saving a buck.
  4. Knitting needles and yarn. It's so nice to once again have a few minutes here and there to feel crafty.
  5. My hubby, who is an amazing dad to BB. I didn't expect him to be so good with BB. It's so much fun to listen to their conversations, and to hear BB's crazed giggle when his daddy tickles and bounces him.
  6. My family. I know they'll be there for me no matter what decisions I may make or situations I may find myself in. It's an wonderful feeling to know that I have such a strong safety net.
Life feels complete today.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

A Promise to the Earth

I've decided that I'm never buying wrapping paper or gift bags again. Beginning immediately. I can reuse the ones I already have here (most of them have a baby boy theme--that'll be funny at Christmas!) but I'm done supporting the industry. It's great that gift bags can be reused, but most only are used a time or two before they are too tattered to be used again. I'm not sure about other places, but where I live, wrapping paper cannot be recycled, so that too ends up in our local landfill.

If only I could get over my 'need' to do the card thing. I love sending and receiving Christmas and birthday cards. I have a friend who says she no longer does the card thing. I can't bring myself to do that yet. I'm socially awkward and feel like I have a hard time connecting to people, so this is a way to show them that I care and that I'm thinking of them.

I know I have a long way to go before I can consider myself one of those extreme-green people, but every little bit helps. I try my best. This has always been important to me, but now that BB is in my life and in the world, I feel a greater urgency to help protect the earth.

Supper Chaos Update

Okay, maybe it's just because I was very hungry, but the leftovers from last night's supper were bloody delicious. I'm trying to refrain from going back to the fridge for seconds.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Supper Chaos

Whoa! So glad this evening is winding down. BB has been asleep for almost and hour, DH is hanging out in the basement with the dogs, and I just got the kitchen tidied up, and then got BB's food ready for his meals tomorrow. Once that was over with, I crashed where I am sitting right now with a large piece of chocolate angel food cake that N gave to me last night. (Slathered with white chocolate cream cheese icing left over from my mom's birthday cake! hehe!)

DH had to take the Old Girl to the vet at 18:00 tonight to have her incision from her surgery last week checked as she is now done her antibiotics (the vet says all looks well, BTW.) Because DH had to be out of here by 17:50, we decided to make a supper that I could do part of the preparation for whenever I had a chance to during the day. In the October Parents magazine, I found a recipe for this Indian-Spiced Chicken with Relish. We decided that I would make the relish part and DH would take care of the chicken, and a side of veggies and rice when he got home. (I need to dedicate a post sometime to all the wonderful things he does around here!)

I decided to start giving BB two meals a day beginning today, as he is finally eating most of what is being served to him now I say most, because he's wearing quite a bit of it too!) So because BB was due to eat around 16:30, I decided to feed him some avocado while DH was preparing the chicken, etc. That went well, but BB was still hungry, and therefore cranky, so I gave him a sippy cup with some pumped milk to occupy him while we ate our supper. I cut into my chicken and it wasn't cooked all the way, so into the microwave it went. BB is still cranking. Sippy cup hits the floor spout-down and there's a puddle of milk. I clean it up get my chicken out of the microwave and start eating again. DH puts his chicken in the microwave now. Cut off another piece of chicken and it's still not cooked! Back into the microwave. BB's still cranking. The rest of my food is getting cold. Did I mention that BB is still cranking? Both of us are trying to be ready to catch the sippy cup each time it gets tossed off the high chair. Finally DH is close to being done his meal and he takes BB and starts walking around with him so I can finish my meal--my plate is still fully loaded because I've spent so much time cleaning up milk and microwaving chicken! Once I'm done eating, I nurse BB while DH finishes his (cold!) supper. Far too much chaos for my liking at supper time! Normally I would have just nursed BB before we ate our supper, but since we were working with a deadline, I didn't want to take the time.

Anyway, the verdict on the chicken? It was good for a change. We eat a fair amount of chicken, so it's nice to have a different way to prepare it from time to time. I'm not a huge pear fan (in fact, I wasn't even sure how to go about chopping it when I was preparing the relish! I am ashamed to admit that I was surprised at how much the core of the pear reminded me of an apple!) so while I was eating I kept thinking, "I know I'm eating pear." DH says he liked the pear part but found the cranberries too tart. But neither of us said we should throw out the recipe I clipped, so I guess it's a keeper. Hopefully I won't let tonight's chaos overshadow my thoughts on the recipe... that happens sometimes.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008


I've been in a bit of a funk since the phone call I received Saturday. Since then, because I'm second guessing everything everything that I once accepted as being rock-steady I've had some super paranoid thoughts. I've even asked DH if he's cheating on me. Ugh. (BTW, the answer was no. But really, who tells the truth about that anyway?)

I haven't wanted to write about all of the negative things going through my head right now. It's too 'hurty' (yes, I like to make up words on occasion) so I decided to give Mr. Blog a face lift (I have no idea why my blog is a he, but it is.) I found a website with some neat backgrounds and I've tweaked the font colours a bit. I'll probably play a bit more, but generally I'm satisfied with the current look. For now.

BB had day five of bananas this morning. Yesterday I managed to get him to eat some by letting him chew on a spoon. When he would open his mouth to chomp down on it, I'd sneak in a spoonful with a second spoon. Some would get pushed out again, but I know a bit was swallowed. Today I used the same method, but this time, he actually took the spoon out of his mouth a couple of times and opened his mouth for me to put the bananas in! And then he would swallow! Success! He even took the spoon from me a couple of times to put the banana in his mouth himself! I was pretty excited! I might give him two meals tomorrow. Try the avocado again in the morning, and give him bananas while we have supper. Oh, and Sunday night I tried a different type of sippy cup (this one doesn't have a valve to prevent leaks) and he did much better with it. He was intentionally putting the spout in his mouth to get milk! He's chewing on it still, instead of sucking, but with this cup, the milk will drip out without sucking. I'm feeling a lot better about his transition to solids now.

I'm going out for dinner with N and S tonight. I'm really excited, because we're going to one of my favourite restaurants. I feel bad though, because it's the last time I'll see S for a few months, as she's going away for work. I'm hoping to feed BB at 18:00, and then have DH give him a bath and put him to bed at 19:00 or 19:30. Part of his bedtime routine is to nurse, but there are several nights where I think he would go to sleep pretty quickly without the nursing. Let's hope tonight is one of those nights! I do have quite a bit of milk pumped off and in the fridge in case DH needs it. If this goes well, perhaps DH and I will have a night out sometime soon.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Things aren't as they seem...

Anyone who knows me very well knows that I have huge issues with drugs. Mainly due to ignorance, but they scare the bejesus out of me. I've never touched them, and can't really picture myself ever trying them now.

Late this afternoon I get a phone call from someone that I love and cherish very much. He told me that he has been using 'soft' drugs for a long time now, but has decided to stop due to an incident he had last weekend. I had no idea this had been going on. I consider myself to be very close to him, so this came as a huge shock to me. I'm afraid I didn't handle it very well. I feel like I don't even know him anymore. And I told him this. I think I've hurt him. We were both in tears on the phone. I quickly loaded BB into his carseat and we headed over to his house so I could see him and make sure everything is okay with us.

He has promised me and other people that are important in his life that he is done with it all. I told him he needs to stop for himself, not for us. I'm worried that if he does start again, he'll be doing it on the sly again, and completely beating himself up over it because he has broken the promise he made to us.

Tonight I feel like I'm second guessing everything that I know to be true in my life.

Solid Woes

The introduction to solids isn't going the way I daydreamed it would. All of my friends who have already done it all seem to say, "Baby LOVED his first solid meal!" I cringe now when I hear things like this. BB doesn't exactly hate it, but he's not a fan.

We started with the avocado, and he wasn't loving it. So after four days of that, yesterday we moved on to bananas. Not really a fan of the bananas either. He hasn't ingested much more than a taste of each though. And once he's tasted it, he clamps his mouth shut so no more of the evil substance can find its way in!

I thought I was making progress yesterday when I put some banana on my finger. He grabbed my finger and attacked it with his mouth the way he always does. So cute! And successful. He ended up with banana in his mouth, made a funny face, then swallowed it. To my surprise, it worked a second time as well! Today I tried it again. He wasn't falling for that trick a second day in a row!

He will take the spoon from me to play with, but by the time he gets it into his mouth, the food has already fallen off of it. So again, that idea isn't really working either.

BB is so interested in us when we eat. I thought he was ready. But I'm starting to think that maybe he simply isn't ready yet. He is six months old today (where is the time going?!) and everything says that at six months they're ready for solids. Perhaps he's the exception to this though. As DH pointed out this morning, BB has been ahead of schedule for several things; perhaps with solids he will just be behind schedule. I'm not sure whether I should wait a week before trying something new and lay off the food for now, or if I should just keep trying every day and hope that one day he suddenly gets it.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Getting it Together, Day 2

Yesterday while I was perusing random blogs, I found a link to a website that helps you get your house organized and clean. They encourage you to take baby steps and have a 31 day plan to get you into the game. Day 1 all you need to do is clean your sink. Let me tell you, my sink has been disgusting as of late. Seriously. Most people have stainless steel type sinks in their kitchens, but the kitchen in my house came with a big white sink, I think it's granite or something? I love my sink with all my heart. But it stains easily. If you put something in it that can rust, the rust stains. Curry stains. Coffee stains. Although it's been wiped out and cleaned on occasion, it hasn't been bleached since long before BB's arrival. So I bleached my sinks last night. That's all I had to do.

I one-upped on Day 1 though. I'm having someone to our house this weekend to do a photo session with BB and then a family session with all three of us. I knew the floors needed to be tackled before a stranger could come into the house. So the day before yesterday I cleaned the hardwood (speaking of which, does anyone have any recommendations for a hardwood cleaner that is not filled with nasty chemicals but will make your floor shine?) and yesterday I mopped the kitchen and bathroom. Again, I don't remember the last time I did these things.

Today is Day 2. The expectation for today is to get dressed. Yep. Get dressed. According to this website, I'm supposed to get up 15 minutes before my family gets up so I can get dressed from head to toe. Clothes, shoes, make-up, the whole nine yards. I don't think this website was written by someone who currently has a six month old. I can't predict from one day to the next when BB is going to wake up. This morning, he decided it was time to begin his day at 04:45. I think I just need to adapt the program to my situation. So during his morning naps, I should get myself cleaned up. This means less time on the Internet. I already feel the withdrawal shakes coming on! There is also a second expectation for today. Clean the sink before going to bed. I don't think I'll bleach it again; although, a second bleaching might get rid of the few little rust stains that are still there. I think I'll just get out the Method and give it a bit of elbow-grease for today.

This website also sends you emails throughout the day with suggestions of other tasks you could complete, often disguised as 'challenges'. There are also motivational emails. I read a copule but didn't feel very motivated. In fact, I felt annoyed. But since I've proven that I'm a hopeless housekeeper, I'm going to give this a try.

Monday, November 10, 2008

A Busy Day

Just a quick note about today!

We started BB with the avocado today. We had a bit of a rough start, because although the avocado was ripe, it wasn't mashing very easily. I tried the food processor but there wasn't enough to really work well, so then I tried the blender--another no-go, and finally DH used the mortal & pestle on it, which totally did the trick. I think BB ate more during the first 30 seconds than he did during the ten minutes that followed! He made some great faces, and his face, hands, and arms were covered in green slime! DH got some great pics! I then tried him with the sippy cup of milk. I think by the time I gave him that, he was a bit over stimulated and had just about had enough! I think I'll try the sippy cup again tomorrow, but maybe not until the afternoon, and of course, we'll try the avocado again in the morning.

My Old Girl had surgery today to remove a cyst (we think) from her back. She came through with flying colours, but is still a bit groggy tonight. We have to keep an eye on her incision, of course, to ensure it doesn't become infected. Hopefully the lump won't return. If it does, the lump that was removed will have to be sent away for analysis to determine whether it was cancerous or not. Keep your fingers crossed for my poor, sweet, old puppy!

Sunday, November 9, 2008

The End of an Era

Today marks the last day that BB will be exclusively breastfed. Granted, six months isn't exactly an era; however, since it's his entire lifespan so far, it's still a pretty long time.

I'm feeling a bit sad and nervous, yet excited tonight. We've been so busy during these past few days that I haven't had a chance to relax and enjoy our last few days of exclusive breastfeeding. Exclusive breastfeeding has been wonderful. No worries about food being the right temperature of the proper consistency, or whether he's going to be allergic to something new. But he's almost six months, and DH will be home tomorrow, so I'll have help in case he happens to have a reaction and to get some pics for me!

His first food is going to be avocado. All of the folks of the old-school mindset seem to think I'm crazy, but I've read in several places that since he's still being breastfed, he doesn't need cereal first, and it's perfectly okay to start with avocado, bananas, or sweet potatoes. What matters is that I am confident with my decision, and as I've learned during the past six months, being confident in your parenting decisions is very important.

We visited DH's parents place today for the first time since BB's arrival. The second half of the drive up was pretty awful, but he slept the entire way home. While we were there, my MIL hauled a baby sippy cup out of the cupboard that belonged to DH's cousin's daughter, and told BB that the next time he visits he'll be able to use the sippy cup. I gave it to him to play with, since I'd like to try to start giving him a bit of breast milk in a cup as he refuses a bottle. Smart little guy, but the spout into his mouth! He also chewed on the handles, but spent most of the time with the spout in his mouth. My BIL thought it would be great to put some water in the cup to see if he would drink it. At that point I had to put my foot down, and explain that BB is not permitted to have water. Of course I was questioned why (as if I was crazy) and I explained for what felt like the hundredth time that if he fills up on water, he won't drink as much from me, and in turn my milk supply could be reduced. Also if he's filling up on water, he's missing out on all the wonderful nutrients etc. in my milk. And guess what?! My milk is liquid and it hydrates him, just as well as water would! As usual, they acted like the understood, but I'm sure I'll be explaining it all again the next time we see each other. I think I'll also try him with a bit of milk (breast milk, of course!) in the sippy cup tomorrow and see if he can figure it out. I certainly don't want him to drink it like that all the time; however, it would be nice to know that he'll take it that way in case I'm out some day and can't get home at the exact time BB needs to eat.

Tomorrow BB takes his next step towards growing up. I'm a little sad that my baby boy is taking a step away from babyhood, but I'm so happy to watch my baby growing up healthy and strong.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

I Think I've Got It!

I believe I've found a name for this blog that really describes me. Funny, since it was just earlier today that I complained that I couldn't come up with anything! And I didn't even have to steal this from a song! No sirree, inspiration actually struck!

Not that hoping for a happy ever after doesn't describe how I feel, but Fumbling for Perfection really seems to hit the nail on the head. It shows not only my insecurity, but also my constant struggle to do things right, by the book. That constant struggle is always made worse by my incredible laziness. :) I also find that it is forward looking, as it reflects my continuing journey to improve myself and my world.

Not Satisfied

I'm still not happy with the name or the layout of this blog. I'm not in love with any of the blogger layouts. There must be a way to create your own, but I'm not quite that savvy yet. My eyes glaze over when I try to read about how to do that stuff.

As for the name of the blog, I've been feeling like I don't have a creative bone in my body anymore. Hopefully inspiration will strike, and then I'll remember it when I'm sitting in front of the computer!

Perhaps when I grow the creative bone, my writing will also improve. Some days I look at what I've managed to move from my brain to the keyboard, and I think that I've done an adequate job at saying what I intended. Other days I look at what I've composed and it looks like crap. I have a hard time not going back and deleting those posts. I only ever like to show the 'composed' side of myself to the world. It is taking strength not to delete the incoherent ramblings. But leaving them is the only way I can keep the record of what I was feeling at that particular time. If I delete it, the emotion and the thoughts will be gone.

Until inspiration strikes for a name change and a face lift, I'll keep writing. Practice makes perfect, right?

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Calling All Blogs...

Please step forward!

I've been trying to find some blogs that I find interesting. I've found a few, but I've read all of their old posts, and new ones don't seem to happen very frequently.

What makes a blog interesting to me? I enjoy blogs about...
  • parenting (a year ago, I wouldn't have enjoyed this topic very much)
  • people who live in the same area as me (I like knowing the area the person is writing about. Plus if someone's going to write about the amazing restaurant they visited on the weekend, I'd rather it be a restaurant that I could try too, rather than it being in some far away place!)
  • people I know, or knew, or who are associated with people I know. This might be part nosiness on my part, but I think it also ties in to wanting to read blogs of people who live near by. Plus, I seem to remember practically everyone I've ever met, and I love hearing about their lives, even if they don't remember me or care about me.
  • hobbies that I'm interested in, such as knitting, pets, photography.
I don't enjoy blogs about high-school life, gaming, or people's devotion to Jesus. (No offense to anyone who feels their blog falls into this category.)

I've searched blogger for everyone who has listed that they live in NB. I've looked at several profiles that show interests that appeal to me. It seems that most of these people have started a blog, and haven't posted after their first entry. Or in some cases, they made a good effort for a while, but haven't posted since 2005. So disappointing!

I do have a list of about a dozen blogs that I find interesting, and that seem to be updated on an occasional basis. Several of these I know who the owners are, and when I was reading their old posts I wanted to contact them to let them know that I was feeling for them, or that I've been thinking of them, or that I miss them, but I was worried that it would be creepy. It makes me a bit sad that I don't have the guts to reach out to these people, who are so willingly sharing their lives with the world, to let them know that, "Hey, I care." I've always lived my life fearing rejection, and I guess that's why I'm not brave enough to de-lurk. But that is off-topic I guess.

If anyone happens to be reading this, and you know of any blogs that you think I might enjoy, please drop a line!

Monday, November 3, 2008

Ramblings of the Weekend

I had a pretty good weekend, considering the fact that I didn't get to see DH very much.

Friday night we dressed BB up in his little pumpkin costume (soooo cute on him!) and took him over to N's for his first trick-or-treat experience. Surprisingly, he didn't mind the costume. He was even okay with the little hat; although, we did make fun of him while we were at N's... there were sequins on the pumpkin-stem part of the hat. How could we NOT make fun of him not even being six months old and already wearing sequins?

Saturday BB and I picked up my bro and the three of us went to the market. I love going to the market. I often don't buy much (other than breakfast!) but I still love going just for the experience. DH has started giving money to the people outside the market (I don't like to call them homeless, because I don't know what their situations are, but I think it's safe to assume they don't have much money, so maybe I could just refer to them as the financially-poor people?) and I felt bad that I hadn't dug out a bit of money for them before walking past them. I just wasn't thinking. And I'm not one to stop and go digging through my purse and wallet with them right there. "Hang on, let me have a looksee here... No, you can't have my twenty... ah, here's a loonie for you." Yeesh. They always seem so grateful though. Anyway, BB was a super good boy while we were out. No cranking at all. We picked up samosas for mother & father (they're up to $1 a piece now! And there's not a multiple-samosa discount now either! 1 for $1, 2 for $2, 12 for $12! I think my samosa days are over. K said the same thing. I'm willing to wager there are a few more people here in Freddy who are also saying the same thing. I know food prices are going up, but I feel like they're asking me to bend over and take it up the... woah, calm down, cuddles!) So yeah, we got some samosas for the parents, K got a donair from Richies, and I got a chicken thingy from Lebanese Plus, and then we were off to mother & father's.

When we got to mom & dad's, we ate all of our market goodies, and the I put BB in his costume. Everyone oohed and aahed and we took lots of pictures. Eventually it was time for BB to have a nap. I had asked my parents to put their playpen in one of the bedrooms (rather than in the living room where they normally set it up), so they put in K's old room. Following our new nap time routine, I was actually able to get BB to take a nap! That's definitely a good thing, since he usually won't nap there and then gets crankier and crankier as the day goes on. He only slept for half an hour though, because my cousin, T and her kids M & I arrived to show off their Halloween costumes and to meet BB. We ended up staying at mother & father's longer than we had planned, but it would have been rude to leave while T, M & I were there.

Yesterday for lunch I baked half of my squash that I bought on Friday, and had it with homemade potato wedges and my baby romaine and oregano & feta dressing that I also got on Friday. A pretty tasty lunch! And quite healthy too, which is a good thing because after lunch, N and S came over for coffee and sweets. I made Hello Dolly squares (they've been my addiction lately! At least I make a lower-in-fat version of them!), N brought caramel fondue that we dipped apples into, and then we dipped the caramel covered apples into dark chocolate chunks, coconut, or pecans, and S brought brownies. We ate soooo much sugar. Oh, and we drank two pots of coffee. I felt sooo sick. It was so much fun!! When DH came home from the trial all three of us were sitting at the kitchen table talking at him - he looked so stunned. Then annoyed. Too funny! We had taken a meal out of the freezer to have for supper last night, so we baked it while BB was getting ready for his bath and having his final feeding, and I ate my supper after he went to bed. I totally needed something that wasn't full of sugar or caffeinated!

And now it's Monday and we're back to the grind.

Oh, a couple of funny BB things...

Last week he started this new thing where he looks like he's either chewing at the air or trying to talk without making any noise. His little gums are going right at it! (He does this with his mouth open.) I think he's trying to mimic us talking, since he does it at times when he's not watching us eat.

Last night when I was giving him his bedtime meal he pulled off my breast and laid there sticking his tongue out at me. The paranoid mother in me though it looked like might have been swollen, so I was carefully listening to his breathing, and it sounded okay. Then he starts smiling at me and continuing to stick out his tongue. I should mention that I've been sticking my tongue out at him for months now, because it almost always gets a laugh. I think he was just being silly. This morning, he started doing the same thing! The little tongue comes out and he's looking at me with a big gummy grin on his face. All I could do was laugh at him. I need to not laugh the next time he does it at meal-time though... otherwise, he's going to start thinking that mealtime is actually make-mommy-laugh time. And that would be so frustrating!

And on that note, guess who just woke up from his ultra-quick nap (only 30 minutes?!) Gotta go!

Saturday, November 1, 2008

From Point A to Point B

I remember growing up and hearing my dad complain about people who didn't put forth the same effort he did in maintaining his vehicles. "It's just a way for them to get from Point A to Point B. Nothing more." I have to admit, I'm one of those people, and I'm sure it drives my dad insane.

We bought our car brand-spanking new in June of 2004 (even though the dealership calls it a 2005--I still haven't figured that one out!) The day we picked it up to take it home, the owner of the dealership presented us with a car cleaning kit. He probably took one look at our old 'pop can on wheels' and thought, "Wow, they really need this!" I think I washed it once later that same summer. The kit still is sitting in my basement, over four years later.

The summer after we bought the car, we were fostering Horsey for our friends. This was before he was our dog. DH had taken him to training and he was barricaded in the back hatch-part of the car. Horsey got a bit rambunctious and started to nibble on the rubber that went around the hatch window. He ripped a hunk of it off and started working on the material on the ceiling. The piece of rubber still hangs in our back window, three years later. And the chewed up ceiling? Yup, it's still there too, in all its frayed glory. Horsey should have just been GIVEN to us after that incident!

Last weekend my dad washed our car while BB and I were down for a visit. Washed it all up, polished one fender to see if he could buff out a scuff mark (he couldn't) and even wiped the dust off the plastic parts inside and armour-alled them. When we went to the Superstore yesterday, a bird pooped all over the passenger side window. There goes our somewhat-clean car. But it still got us from Point A to Point B.