Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Few Minutes of Entertainment?

I was listening to the CBC on the way into work this morning, and heard an interview with a man who is organizing the city's Canada Day celebrations tomorrow.  The interviewer asked how much the committee is spending on the fireworks display tomorrow night.  His response?  In the range of $15-20,000 dollars! 


I normally don't attend the fireworks display.  The last time I was there I was very upset to see so many people taking their dogs to the event.  Many of the dogs were afraid of the loud bangs and were crying and barking.  I think it's very unfair to our canine friends to take them to an event like that.  They don't understand that there is no danger and that they don't need to be afraid.  After making this observation several years ago, I lost interest in gathering with the rest of the city to watch the display.


Since I have little interest in the fireworks, perhaps I'm writing out of turn.  However, I can't help but feel that the $15-20,000 could be put to a better use.  Think about how that money would help a few of our homeless people put shelter over their heads, or how many meals it could provide at our local food bank. 


We live in such a wasteful manner, don't we?


Monday, June 29, 2009

Overwhelming Rage

Since returning to work, I've been surprisingly happy with my job.  It's nice to be doing something new. 


In my old job, Sunday nights were awful.  I was filled with such dread over what the following week would bring.  I used to drink on Friday nights to wash away the terribleness of the week so that I could enjoy the weekend.  After I left for maternity leave, my job was split between two people.  One of the people had a few additional duties that weren't part of my job, but basically, one person was unable to replace me.  I had been doing the work of two people.  And about half way through my leave, my former position was split again.  Once again, one person has a few extra duties that I didn't have, but it seems that even what was left was still too much for one person to do alone. 


These days, Sunday nights are an evening where I am able to reflect on the good times I had over the weekend with DH and BB.  I don't dread coming into work.  In fact, I look forward to getting back into my work each day.  As everyone knows, I'd still rather be home with BB, but if I have to work, I couldn't ask to be happier at the moment. 


Until this morning.  I arrived to discover I had received a condescending email from someone who has given me grief non-stop over the years.  And suddenly I'm filled with the rage that used to overwhelm me several times a day in my old job.  What an awful feeling.  My first instinct was to hit reply and send her an equally condescending email, but I know it wouldn't get me anywhere; it would only begin one of our infamous email wars.  And my new manager happens to be a fan of this person, so should I get into a war with her, there's a chance my manager would side with the enemy anyway.  One of the (few) good things about my old job was that I knew my manager had my back.  So here I sit, trying to be mature, trying to bite my tongue.  But I've suddenly lost my motivation to dive in today and get lots done.  I feel like I need to go to the bathroom to have a cry, and punch something.  I feel like I've gone back in time. 


The really annoying part is, I've tried to be kind to this person since returning to work.  I've changed over the past year.  Work is less important to me.  Life is too short to be annoyed by people like this.  I've chit-chatted her up.  I've been very friendly.  The whole purpose of the email exchange that resulted in the nastygram I received this morning was something I was doing to try to help her.  Well, chicky, guess what?  Somehow you have always managed to bring out the worst in me.  I'm not as mature as I thought I was.  If this is how you want things to be, fine, this is the way they are.  Say ciao to the friendly cuddles…  the bitch is back. 

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

When it Rains...

BB was a very sick boy all last week. He had a very high fever for several days and by the time we took him to the doc, his tongue was white with red spots. The doc checked him out and decided he had roseola. He said the fever would go away (and it did, the same day we saw the doc) and that he would develop a rash that would move from head to toe. The rash never did appear, but he got better, so all is good. I guess we'll never know what was wrong with him.

I'm often of the mindset that we shouldn't be pumping ourselves or our children full of drugs; however, last week with the fever, BB went through a lot of Tempra.

Fast forward to this week, now I'm the one that is sick. Yes, I am home sick today. And really sick, not faking. I feel like I am growing bones in my throat, my head is aching, and I have a temperature. And the cherry on top? A yeast infection. And boy, did that one come on fast. Normally I can treat myself for these with acidophilus, but so far, I've been unsuccessful. So, I just returned from a little jaunt to the drug store to pick up some Monistat and some ice cream (medicinal, of course!) I've also dosed myself with some acetaminophin. The ice cream and acetaminophin have worked wonders. Hopefully the Monistat will do the same tonight.

Now that I'm feeling the positive effects of the acetaminophin, I'm glad that I kept BB topped up with it last week. Because I've gotta say, it sucks to be 30 years old and feeling sick... I can't imagine how awful it must be to be 13 months old, feeling sick, and not understanding WHY you feel so miserable.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Bloody Awesome

I miss this so much. The energy at the tournaments is so amazing. The feeling of your dog "getting" the game and being ready to go for that ball again and again is undescribable. Someday I will play again.

Friday, June 5, 2009

Feel the Energy

As anyone who regularly reads this blog can attest to, I often use this forum to share my fears, worries and negative thoughts.  Today, I thought I should quickly make a note to capture this current moment in time, since I'm actually feeling good about things.


I'm working away at one of my audits and feel like I finally have a grasp on it.  It's the biggest one I have.  My boss is on vacation this week, and I'm a bit worried that she will feel I haven't made enough progress in her absence.  However, I think now that I finally have a rhythm down I should be able to work through the piles and piles of data a bit faster.  I worry about disappointing her, since she seemed so keen to have me in this role.  She seemed to think that I would have no problem completing all of the required work and finding improvements along the way.  This particular job is very much up my alley, much more so than any other job I've done within this organization.  But all of those other jobs have paved the way for me to do a damn good job at this one. 


I'm looking forward to spending the next two days with BB.  He's finally settling in at the sitter's!  He didn't even cry this morning.  What a breath of fresh air to not feel like we're wrecking his life when we drop him off at the sitter's.  He's now spending more time walking than crawling. 


In the morning the three of us are heading out to the market and for groceries.  I love our Saturday mornings together.  It's fun to take BB out on little adventures like that.  Hopefully we'll be able to squeeze in a trip to the park at some point this weekend as well.  We took him the day before I returned to work and he had SO MUCH FUN on the swings.  I took lots of video and pictures—definitely an event I'll always remember.  His smiles and laughter complete my world.


On Sunday BB and I will be visiting my parents.  My dad hasn't seen his little guy in a few weeks now, and is probably suffering from withdrawal by now!  He's going to see a big change in him now that he's toddling everywhere. 


I've made a very hard decision.  I'm going to wean BB at the end of the month if my cycle hasn't returned yet.  At least his middle of the night feedings.  I'll keep his bedtime feeding for now.  This isn't how I would ideally do things, but I guess that seems to be my motto lately.  Ideally, I wouldn't be working.  Ideally, BB would continue to breastfeed until HE decides he's done.  Blah blah blah.  However, we need to get project BN2 moving along.  I think BB needs me at home more than he needs to continue breastfeeding.  And I can't be home until we have BN2.  I wanted the kids to be close together in age, and if we don't get a move on, they're going to be over two years apart.  Eek.  Although I'm not exactly happy with the decision, I think it's the right one in order to achieve our goals as a family, and I am feeling positive about it. 


Overall today, my outlook is sunny and positive.  Feel free to grab onto a little of my energy today… I seem to have lots of it to share for once!  xo

Thursday, June 4, 2009


When I left for my maternity leave there might have been three people in my office who smoked, plus a couple closet smokers who either didn't smoke at work, or made so little a production of it that you hardly realized they were doing it. 


During my year away, several people moved on, and several new people were hired.  It seems that the majority of the new people are all smokers.  At 10am and 3pm, there is a mass exodus as they all gather together and go outside for a group smoking session.  And when they all return en masse, they stink.  Even a closet smoker has come out of the closet and is now joining the exodus. 


I thought that a lot of people were finally realizing how unhealthy smoking is, but apparently I was wrong.  If you want to smoke, fine, smoke.  But I have an issue when you return to the office reeking of smoke.  If I can smell it, it can affect me.  I also have an issue with my tax dollars being spent to cure you from your smoking related illness. 


Rumour has it the building and grounds will be smoke free in a short while.  It can't come soon enough for me. 

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

It's Been a While

I'm settling into the new routine of going to work.  I really miss spending the days with BB.  Hopefully with any luck I'll be pregnant soon.  BB is still nursing before bed and a couple of times in the night.  I just decided today that if my cycle hasn't started by the end of the month, I'm going to work on eliminating the middle of the night feedings.  I hate having to do this, but we need to get this baby thing moving.  Our babysitter is off the first week of July, so DH is taking the 29th and 30th off to spend with BB, and I'll be taking July 2nd and 3rd.  With DH off work, he can take over the duty of getting up with BB those nights, so he won't be expecting to nurse. 

BB is still sleeping in our room.  Whenever the topic comes up, so many people poo-poo at me.  Sorry folks, I'm doing what I think is best.  We don't get enough time together as it is, and I want him to feel as secure as possible.  If he's happy in his crib, that's where he sleeps.  If he is happier in bed with us, then that's where he is.  I feel like returning to work has gone against everything I believe about parenting this little boy, so I'm going with my gut on this issue.  When the time is right for him to move to his own room, we'll recognize it and take care of it. 


Writing from work feels really disjointed.  Maybe it's because I know I have a lot of work to get through and shouldn't be taking the time to do this.  Hopefully I'll get through the backlog that has been left for me, and get things caught up soon so I'm not in a panic the entire time I'm here.  And then perhaps I'll have time to write the occasional post.  I feel like I'm becoming one of those people who completely neglects their blog.