I've decided to give myself a bit of a break today and not try to spend every moment accomplishing something. I have a cold and am feeling run down - too many late nights, sweets, and stress.
Time to play a bit of catch up...
Went on a date with Bachelor B a couple of weeks ago (after sort of being stood up by him the previous week.) I wasn't looking forward to going out with him--he took a while to get back to me, so I made Plan B arrangements to go Christmas shopping with my free evening instead. When he did contact me that afternoon to firm up our plans, I kind of tried to bail on him because I was turned on to the idea of getting some shopping done. However, he didn't take the out when I offered it to him, so we went out and I had a blast. I laughed all evening. He doesn't meet many of the requirements from the list of what I'm looking for (other than being tall, good looking, and having a good job) but I figured that perhaps it might be good to cast that list aside for a change and just see what happens. We went out a second time last week but it wasn't quite as much fun. He's not assertive, nor am I, but I've been stepping out of my comfort zone to be a bit more assertive, in an effort to pursue this. However, now I'm taking a step back to see what happens. If he's not willing/able to make a move, it's probably not going to lead anywhere.
After our first date, H asked me what Bachelor B was like. All I could say was, "He's the complete opposite of you." It's incredibly true. He wasn't trying to impress me, he was completely honest about who he is, and he's rough around the edges. It was refreshing.
On the 22nd a guy in the pond added me as a favourite. I checked out his profile and I felt like I had to contact him... it was as if he was looking for me. So I sent him a message later that evening, and we've been doing the get-to-know you thing ever since. He's away for the holidays so we can't meet until Wednesday night. It seems like we have an online connection and similar values. The pics he sent showed potential. I recall thinking H's pics were okay initially, and when I actually saw him he took my breath away. Here's hoping... To make referring to this guy easier, I'll call him Bachelor D.
Funny thing, I'm meeting Bachelor D on the one year anniversary of first connecting online with H... also the one year anniversary of finding out the truth from XH.
On the topic of H, I haven't seen him in over a month, but we talk every day. He's become a great sounding board for advice, and pretty much any topic is fair game. Because I no longer hang off his every word, or sit by the phone hoping he'll call, friendship is that much sweeter. I think I'll move all of my old blog posts back (yeah yeah, I've said it before, I'm the queen of the flip-flop.) All of the stuff with him is no longer raw, and I like having them all in one place for the sake of continuity.
Christmas has been here and gone. It was the first Christmas that Baby Boy anticipated. He did not stop all day. His favourite toy was the drill from the tool set my parents gave to him. Baby Girl spent the day exploring all of the gifts, trying to eat tissue paper, and cleaning up crumbs off of the floor. (Imagine! Baby Boy would never have been allowed to hoover the floor for crumbs. My, how I've changed.) I managed to keep my tempter and attitude in check for the most part, which is impressive, considering my company was here for over 24 hours. By the time everyone left after dinner it was quite apparent that I was becoming sick, and I was grateful for the quiet.
Boxing day was spent at XH's with his family (turkey dinner is so much better when I'm not the one stressing over it!) and then BG and I visited K & A for a bit. H invited me over to his place for tea after our visit with K & A, but I decided to come home instead because I was feeling tired and yucky. Last night N & D popped over, so I didn't make it to bed early like I had planned, because after they left, I took the time to reply to Bachelor D's most recent email. (I feel a bit sad when I think of the time I've spent over this past year corresponding with men in an effort to make a connection of some sort.)
Baby boy is moving into his big boy bed tomorrow when he returns home from XH's. My plan had been to keep him "caged" in his crib for as long as possible, and yesterday morning I walked into his room to find all of his blankets piled up at one end with him standing on them, and one leg over the side of the crib. He told me he was going to put his feet on the floor. We got up later than usual yesterday, so I'm guessing that he was actually up at the usual time, but didn't call out for me because he was in his room figuring and calculating how to best make his escape. :)
I had more that I wanted to share, but I'm not feeling in the mood right now. I'm exhausted and I'm happy that it's quiet here today, because I'm afraid I would be cranky if anyone was around.
If I don't get around to writing again before the end of the year, I wish anyone reading a safe and happy new year. 2010 has been a great year because I managed to work through a lot of issues and have an even better understanding of what makes me tick, I've met some great people, and most importantly, my beautiful Baby Girl came into my life, but I'm still holding out hope for an even better 2011. XO