I want to write. I do. I've been trying to sort it all out in my head. It's not working. I feel like I have so many issues right now. I don't know where to start. Every night I go to bed feeling disappointed in myself for (once again) not making this a priority. For some reason, spilling all my thoughts here keeps the me that most people see in one piece. Right now I feel like I'm losing pieces of myself everywhere.
I need to make the time. Stop worrying about where to start and just let the random thoughts come out.
After getting my thoughts somewhat organized Thursday night, I called my friends at Telus on Friday morning. The agent I spoke with told me that the phones were out of stock, and I should have been told that last Friday when I was speaking with them. She couldn't tell me when they would have more in stock, but offered to give me a refund if I wanted it. I almost said yes, but figured that if I did that and went to the store, the store would be sold out again and I'd be back at square one. Plus, I liked the promotion I got when I ordered the phone. A promotion that ended on August 8. So grumbling at their shoddy service, I decided to continue waiting, and hung up the phone.
Fast forward a few hours to that afternoon. I'm in the bedroom with the kids and the doorbell rings. I instantly felt annoyed and apprehensive - who could possibly be here without first notifying me? I peeked out around the bedroom door and saw a Purolator guy. What the heck did I order? This made no sense to me. As I was signing for the package, I was still trying to figure it out. My only guess was that it was the iPhone, but that really made no sense, since I was just told that morning they were out of stock.
The guy wasn't out out of the driveway before I was opening the package. Sure enough, contained in the box was my new phone! I tried to set it up during BB's nap, but it wouldn't connect to the Telus network. So I had to call the support line. I was frightened as I called because of all my previous experiences with their agents. But this call, although it took close to two hours, was a positive experience. In fact, Tiffany was so fantastic that she almost redeemed Telus for its past transgressions. Almost. She even gave me additional daytime minutes to make up for the hassle I had gone through with their web orders group. I was so happy when we finished our call that I asked how I could ensure she received recognition for the great customer service she had provided me. She transferred me to her manager's voice mail, and I left a message for Giselle singing Tiffany's praises. Yay for Tiffany!
So, here's my question - what would have happened if I had asked Telus to refund my credit card when they offered? Since the phone was en route to me and they seemed to have no record of it, would I have received the phone for free?
Do I give off good-time girl vibes? Because I'm beginning to think that I do. Maybe it's the scent of spit-up that I'm always sporting? The stretch marks? The super-hot braces?
I had a call from my friend in SJ tonight asking if he could come up. I said, "Well... long as you're not planning on trying anything." He told me that he thought he'd bring along "a bunch of booze" and we could drink together and see what happens. My response was, "And what about BG?" "Oh, are you still breastfeeding?" "Indeed." "Okay, well, I could come up and watch a movie with you and we'll see what happens." At this point I started laughing. A bit hysterically, I think. It all went downhill from there. This went on for another 30 minutes - complete with various angled guilt trips. And then a couple hours later, guess who calls me, with a whole lot of rum in his system, taking me for a trip down memory lane.
The funny thing about it all is that 10.5 years ago, I would have been ecstatic at his receiving his attention. I was too unsure of myself back then to say, "No, I'm not sleeping with you just for fun. I'm not able to do that at this point in my life." So I went ahead and did the friends with benefits thing. And ended up a bit wounded from it all. Because that's how it seems to go. But now, I am able to look out for myself and say no if I'm not comfortable with something. If I was interested, I'd now be able to ask him for the accompanying relationship, if that was what I wanted. I couldn't do that then.
I guess I have changed over the years (maturity?) Or at least I have in most cases. I can think of one situation where I'm that stupid 20 year old girl again. Perhaps someday I'll reflect back on this time and say, "Wow, I've come so far since then."
Oh Telus Telus Telus. You have become a curse word in my life. I used to think your ads with the cute animals were so great. H and I used to laugh like fools at the hippos, comparing them to the fat chicks that would message him from the pond. But now... well, I've fallen out of love with you. Your cutesy animals are a front for your shoddy customer service.
The new iPhone was released on July 30. Perfect. The day before my birthday! Happy birthday to me! Unfortunately, I wasn't able to wait in line for a phone that morning, and they were (obviously) sold out by the time I was able to visit the Telus store that evening.
My first stop that night was Telus @ the mall. Not one Telus employee would speak to me. Seriously. How did I find out that they were sold out? A (much pushier) customer interrupted one of the Telus employees, and I eavesdropped on their conversation.
I then headed to the new Telus location on Prospect. Although I had to wait for two rather lengthy transactions to be completed by the two employees working, at least one of them was willing to talk to me once she was done with her customer. Marg gave me her email address and told me to email her first thing the following Tuesday (it was a long weekend) and she said she would let me know when they were getting another order of the phones in. She told me that they couldn't hold one for me, but that if I knew when they were arriving, I should be able to get there quickly enough to snag one.
In the meantime, someone (XH?) suggested that I just order my phone from the Telus website. Great idea! No waiting in line! No frantic trips to town with the babies! Sweet! Just my luck though, none were available on the website.
The morning of August 3, the Telus website still did not have any available.
By the afternoon of August 3, they were available! I tried (repeatedly) to order one, but every time the transaction would not complete. XH explained that their website was probably using the same system as their stores, and that the stores were most likely taking first priority in the system. He suggested I try again later in the evening. Still no luck.
First thing in the morning on Wednesday, August 4 I managed to place my order. I was happy happy happy! The confirmation email that I received at 08:06 said, "Your order will be shipped within 3 to 5 business days. Prior to shipping, TELUS performs a credit check or credit card verification. Should additional information be required, we will email you. Otherwise, you will receive another email containing your tracking number when your order is shipped." Three to five business days. I can live with that! At the most, it should have been in my hands by the following Wednesday (August 11.)
On August 6, Telus charged my Visa account for the cost of the phone.
At 13:11 on August 9, I received an email from Amir, "Web Channel Administrator", at WebOrders@telus.com saying, "Please contact us during business hours (9am-9pm Eastern, Monday to Friday) to confirm your date of birth. Please do not provide this personal information by email." I picked up the phone and called the 1-866 number included in Amir's signature. The lady I spoke with seemed very confused about why I was calling. It could have been the language difference. I could barely understand what she was saying. I replied to Amir's email at 15:58 of the same day to advise that I had called to provide the requested information, but that the agent seemed confused. I did not receive a response from my new friend, Amir.
By August 13 I had not received the email with the shipping confirmation. I called the 1-866 number in the original order confirmation email from August 4. I once again spoke with someone I could barely understand. He continually put me on hold while he "looked at my account." At one point he came back onto the line and informed me that they said the phone would be shipped in three to five business days, and that weekends are not considered to be business days. At this point I started to lose my temper. Seriously? Jesus Christ. I HAD NO IDEA THAT WEEKEND DAYS ARE NOT CONSIDERED TO BE BUSINESS DAYS. So let me do the math here... Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday... That's eight days. Eight. And I didn't include Saturday OR Sunday there. How is that possibly three to five days? This guy didn't answer my questions or shed any light on my situation.
At this point (13:43) I replied to the original confirmation email I received from WebOrders@telus.com on August 4. I pointed out that their email said the phone would be shipped in 3-5 days, but that I had not yet received confirmation of it being shipped.
At 15:52 Telus replied and said, "Please contact us at 1-866-488-2709 during business hours (9-5, Monday to Friday) to confirm your date of birth. Please do not provide this personal information by email." Once again, I called. I waited on hold for over 20 minutes. The lady I spoke with (I could understand this person) kept putting me on hold. Then she asked for my phone number so she could call me back in case we disconnected. (Huh?) And then she put me on hold again. Finally, she returned and told me their system was down, and that she'd call me back in five minutes. I asked, "Are you really going to call me back? I've been on hold to talk to someone for a very long time, and I don't want to have to do this again." She assured me that yes, she would call me back. Then thanked me for my call and told me to have a nice evening. Yeah... It's obvious that she didn't call me back.
After waiting 45 minutes, I called them again. I explained my situation to the person I spoke with (I could understand this guy too!) He seemed outraged on my behalf and said he would transfer me someone with Web Orders who would be able to help me. My heart sank when he said this, since I had been getting no where with this bunch of bozos.
He transferred me to someone who spoke worse English than all of the previous agents. She asked me to confirm my birthdate for the hundredth time. After repeatedly putting me on hold, she assured me that my phone would be shipped sometime during the week of August 16. I asked her if this is how they normally treat their customers. She tried to explain to me that there are many employees, and that she is only one of them. I said, "No, is this how Telus as a company treats their customers?" I couldn't understand her response. I asked her for her name. I couldn't understand it. I asked her to spell it for me. She tried several times, and between her line cutting out and her accent, I never did get her name. I asked if I could please speak with her supervisor. She told me that she would email her supervisor, and that I could call back in one business day to speak with the supervisor. WTF? Great.
Now it is almost a week later, and I still have not received a shipping confirmation. But Telus has my money. Assholes. I am so not impressed. Are the next three years going to be filled with this insanity?
To add insult to injury, Marg from Telus called yesterday to tell me that they now have the phones at the store. I should have just waited.
Time to head to bed. I'm not taking the time to proof this one. I need to be on my best game because tomorrow I fight with Telus again. Hopefully this doesn't become my Friday routine.
It's been a bit since I last emptied my head here. I think I have my game-face on again, and am feeling more like myself. Not sure what the past week has been about, but I can only guess it was somehow hormone related. Need to keep an eye on that I think.
- From last Thursday until Monday-ish, I felt awful. As if I was getting sick, but wasn't actually getting to the point of being sick. So incredibly tired. And blue beyond belief. Oh, and did I mention tired? Because yeah, I was tired. Very very tired. Anyway, yesterday was considerably better, and today I feel normal again.
- I'm not sure if this is related to the above at all but I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror tonight, and was shocked at how my ribs beneath my collar bone are sticking out. I recall when I started losing weight a few years ago, that was one of the first indicators that I had lost weight. I could suddenly see ribs there, when previously a good layer (or two) of fat covered them. Even the night before BG was born, I could still see the ribs there if I looked at the right angle. But now... well there's no mistaking them. I am down to 124 lbs. I haven't weighed this little in years. I think I was around 125 when I met XH. Maybe 130. Anyway, I have a pic of J and I from the Christmas formal in grade 11. I was 110 lbs then. And I was a bony mess. I looked like one of those biology class skeletons. I'm 14 lbs away from that. Not that I want to gain weight. And it's not that I'm not eating. All I can guess is that it's the nursing that is causing the weight loss. If I recall correctly though, I only lost weight until BB was around six months old (thankfully all 60lbs were gone by that time!) so perhaps I'll even out in a month or so. What I need to do is find a way to start exercising again. That would help to give me a healthy look, rather than the too-thin look I've been coming dangerously close to rocking lately.
- My (ex)in-laws were here a couple of days last week doing some much needed (and much appreciated) painting outside. Rather than having them travel both days, I suggested they crash here, and surprisingly, they took me up on it. Fast forward to this past weekend. My dad was asking BB, "Who spent the night here this week?" He was expecting him to say, "Grammy and Grampy" but what BB answered with was, "Da!" I quickly jumped in and explained to him that no, daddy hadn't spent the night here. *sigh* This is how rumours are started.
- BB is wowing me with his love of the music I love. He now asks for me to play Hawksley Workman for him. "Awk!" And when a Tegan and Sara song plays, he now tells me it's Tegan and Sara. (Tegan is quite clear, but the "and Sara" is a bit garbled still.) Same thing goes for the Hawksley Workman songs. His little mind is like a sponge. He takes everything in and seems to remember it all. So amazing.
- Whenever BB has an itch, he tells me there's a bug on him. If his eye is itchy he says, "Bug en mah eye." If his leg is itchy, he blames that on a bug. I'm guessing he had an itchy bug bite at some point, and now all itches are the fault of a bug.
- I had my braces put on last Thursday. It wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be and adjusting to them has been easier than I expected. I only have them on my top teeth so far though. I'm scheduled to have two molars pulled in September. It seems wrong to have two perfectly good teeth removed. I'm scared shitless about having them removed. Flossing is a complete SOB. OMG, that hurts. I could cry just thinking about it. Hopefully once those two molars are gone it won't hurt so bad? I updated my FB status on Friday to make fun of the fact that I now have braces, and a friend commented, " I am so very happy for you. Now you will believe what we have all known all along - how truly beautiful you really are!" If it had been from anyone else, I would have thought, "Blow it out your ass", but coming from this person, it really touched me and made me do a bit of a self-assessment. In spite of all the ups and downs (more downs than ups, really) of the past nine months, I think that my self-image is far better than it was nine months ago. I'm too modest to say, "Yeah, I'm beautiful." but I certainly don't think I'm unattractive. I'm definitely looking forward to the results from this treatment - already I am able to see progress. I keep reminding myself of this when I hit my teeth with my cutlery, when my bottom teeth gnash into my top teeth ("Hey, where did you guys come from?! You didn't occupy this space a few days ago!"), and when I floss. No pain, no gain, right?
- I've been saying recently that once the kids are grown up, I'll definitely need a new dining set. Already, BB has aged it significantly. There are scratches and pen marks on the table top, marker that although washable, doesn't seem to wipe off it is isn't discovered soon after the "accident" happens. This morning I also noticed that the chairs are becoming loose. The chair his booster seat is attached to is becoming quite wobbly, so I checked out the other chairs, and discovered the same thing. I can only imagine the shape they'll be in by the time BG is 27 months old! I'm beginning to think I'll need the new dining set long before the kids are grown.
- The more words that BB learns, the more demanding he becomes. I had mozzarella cheese here this week, in addition to his usual old cheddar. When he asked for cheese, I asked, "Do you want the white cheese or the orange cheese?" and he would choose his colour. Now he's asking specifically for a particular colour of cheese without prompting.
BB: "Whi chee!"
Me: "White cheese PLEASE."
BB: "Whi chee PEE!"
- Today we read "Brown Bear Brown Bear What Do You See?" and when we got to the two pages at the end of the book with all of the animals, he knew the colour of each one, along with the type of animal. I wasn't expecting that! Again, he's a sponge right now.
- There is a tree across the street from my house that changes colour before all the other trees start. This tree depresses me. I noticed the other day that it's now red. This morning, I noticed one of the trees in my front yard has a few leaves that have already changed colour. The end of summer is near. The idea of summer being over makes me feel so sad. Why does my happy time of year have to be so short?
- A house is being built not too far from my house. Dump trucks and other heavy machinery are constantly rumbling past my place. More often than not, I jump when I hear them, because it sounds like there's someone in my driveway. The idea of unexpected company does not sit well with me. There are very few people that I'd be okay with just dropping by. By very few, I mean maybe one or two. Tops. And that's even pushing it. Anyway, all of this extra traffic has made me realize that I'm living in fear of a vehicle turning into my driveway unexpectedly.
- I have a major beef with Telus. I think I'll save that for another post though. It's getting late and I don't want to go to bed feeling full of rage.
- One of the blogs that I enjoy reading is soon going to be removed from my "must read" list. I typically catch up on my reading during the evening while BG is either nursing or settling in for the night. When this particular page loads, music starts blaring from my computer, startling both of us. If you want to put music on your website, go ahead, but give me the option of pressing play if I want to listen to it. Please. Don't make me frantically search your page for the stop button. Grrr.
And on that note, here's some music for you. It's up to you if you want to listen to it, but I highly recommend it! :)
- Sunday night I was in the bathroom giving BG her bath. BB was still awake in his room, and I could hear him in there singing "Blow Away" by A Fine Frenzy. "Uh oh uh oh uh oh uh oh away!"
Yeah, she's hot, and I have a crush on her. If you liked that one, watch this one too--Another one of BB's favourite songs. He calls it "Kick" and says it with a kicky lilt to his voice.
Wow, an entire post with nothing about my love life. Amazing. Is anyone else as shocked as I am?
It's almost 1100 and I'm still in bed. I don't remember the last time I did this. April? Probably. Thankfully BG is happy with the snuggles. The air around my bed feels very cold, but my new sheets are so warm and cozy. I think it's time to force myself up though. I have already ignored one phone call... should probably go see what that was all about. And find coffee. Mmmmm.... lazy mornings.
I was having one of *those* days today. Frustrated with everything. Little patience.
My mother came to watch the kids for a short time while I ran to town for a few things. I figured that would give me a chance to shake off whatever it was that was bringing me down, but instead, I came home even more irritated.
XH arrived and chatting with him restored my inner peace a bit. I had just mentioned something to him about H, and speak of the devil, guess who calls?!
He and I have been chatting on MSN on and off since mid June. Recently it's been at least a few times a week. The only time we've talked on the phone since May was that night in June when he called in the middle of the night... and I later found out that he and his girlfriend had broken up that weekend, but got back together after.
I assumed that our MSN conversations were on the sly. I figured that she was the reason why we were no longer real friends. Why he so harshly ditched me back in May. I never asked for confirmation on any of this though... I knew he probably wouldn't tell me the truth, and if he did tell me the truth, I'd be forced to make a decision as to how I felt about being his secret friend.
So tonight's hour long conversation actually contained a huge apology for everything that went down in May. He told me that he had been an ass and that he had treated me unfairly. My initial instinct was to say, "Oh, no you didn't! It's okay." But I refrained. Dude hurt me. Not just once. So when he said that he had been an ass and had treated me unfairly, I agreed with him. Because it's true.
Not surprisingly, they have broken up again. So of course, who gets a phone call?
I also received confirmation on all of my suspicions. She couldn't handle him being friends with me, so he wasn't allowed to talk to me. Our MSN conversations were on the sly. He claims it was because he wanted to know how I was doing.
I didn't ask for confirmation on XH's suspicion of me being "Plan A-". He'd never admit to that anyway.
So we talked for an hour. I laughed harder than I have in a while. I didn't bother sugar coating my hurt feelings. In fact, I rubbed them in his face at every opportunity. Later this evening over MSN, he suggested we go for a drink sometime so I can "rag his ass out" and get it out of my system.
Why can't I stay angry with him? I think XH thinks I'm crazy for being so happy tonight. I'm happy to have my buddy back though. I get that I'm obviously not the girl for him (otherwise, he wouldn't have cast me aside twice!) but we have so much fun together. I've thought so many times since May, "Oh, H would find this so funny!" or "I wish I could tell H this." All that said though, my trust level isn't exactly high... far too many lies have come from his lips.
Is it wrong of me to hope they don't get back together again? It's definitely selfish of me. But if they do, I'm stuck being the secret friend again, and now that I have confirmation that I'm the secret friend, I will have to decide whether I'm okay with that or not. I've always told him that I'm a friend 'til the end. I'll never revoke that promise, but I don't like the idea of hiding the fact that I'm friends with someone.
It's too late. I need to stop over thinking all of this and just be happy that another one of the "wrongs" in my world has been righted. Interestingly enough, it was seven months ago today that we met. That's a lot of ups and downs in seven months.
The thing that I didn't want to talk about here was that I had met someone. In real life. Not just on the computer. I have mentioned him in a few posts over the past month (here as "the older man" - which just feels wrong to say that now that I've met him, here, and here - the late night phone call.)
He came over a week ago Thursday and visited for over four hours. We got along nicely. I thought he was even better looking in person than in his pics. I felt attracted to him. That's a big deal for me since I seem to have a hard time finding guys that I'm actually attracted to. Oodles of nice guys out there, but not many that I actually have chemistry with in real life. He asked if I'd be interested in going out for dinner, of course I said yes.
This past Tuesday night we went out. (It was the night XH was over for dinner and a visit, so being the great XH that he is, he stayed with the babies while I went out.) I had a nice time with him. He seems like a genuinely nice guy. Very kind and considerate.
There's a "but" coming though, can you sense it? Surprisingly, it's not the age thing. That seems irrelevant now.
He just moved to the area, and he all ready seems to be regretting that decision. I sense that he's not going to stick around. For that reason, I feel like I need to exercise caution. I don't want to pursue something if it doesn't even have the possibility of being something long term.
So yeah, I'm on the fence about things. And who knows, he might not be interested anyway. We haven't connected since Tuesday night (missed calls, etc.)
In addition to all this, there's been other interesting things happening. About a month ago I created a Twitter account, just for shits and giggles. Facebook annoys me now - far too many people stalking my every move, so this gives me a different way to connect with people that aren't necessarily my "friends" or family. Early on I started following someone I recognized from the pond... for no reason other than the fact that I recognized him and figured, "why not?" Since then, we've exchanged a few messages here and there, and then Wednesday night we started exchanging a lot of messages. After a few direct messages, I confessed to recognizing him from the pond. Then, *gulp* because I have my blog linked to my Twitter profile, he told me he was reading it. ...and he's still talking to me. Craziness.
My birthday was yesterday. It was a great day. The "birthdayness" actually started Friday night. The kids (ie. XH) gave me the cutest t-shirt ever (it says "meh" across the chest. So me!) in a very nicely coloured gift box (XH and BB's project while I ran a couple errands in town.) Then yesterday the babies and I headed to my parents' place for the day. BBQ and chocolate cake - exactly what I asked for! Last night S and N came over with Indian food for dinner and chocolate chip cookies for dessert! (Two different people made chocolate chip cookies for me for my birthday! Think they know me much?!) Later in the evening N's hubby arrived, and we broke out my old MP3s. I'm not sure how BB slept through all the noise. There was a bit of dancing, a bit of rapping, a bit of singing along, and a whole lot of laughs. Definitely a great night! The celebrations continued today with K&A bringing lunch!
I received some funny gifts this year... K&A gave me back bacon from the market. (We ate it at supper tonight. Yum!) N gave me a funky toothbrush thing that she says will be a life saver when I get my braces (11 days away.) S gave me mononucleosis... such an appropriate gift from her! That one was probably the funniest. I assured her that I haven't kissed anyone in months, so my chances of actually contracting the disease are quite slim.
A and I went shopping today. I started my Christmas shopping. I'm baffled at that. S and N's gifts are almost complete, and I picked up a book for BB. I bought myself some new sheets, a lunch bag, a pretty new shower curtain, and a couple new hats. I'm so excited about all of it. Usually by now I'd have buyer's remorse, but not this time.
The children have been doing their usual crazy amounts of growing and changing. BB is picking up new words and phrases on a daily basis. This morning I opened up his blind and he informed me that it was a "nice day!" Throughout the day today, he reminded me of this fact... once he shrieked "Nice day!" at lunch. He now says meatball ("meat-a-ball" - he sounds like someone doing a bad imitation of an Italian!) and polka dot ("pola-DOK".) He's even been picking up on words like rectangle, and is putting nouns and verbs together to better convey his message. Communication is a wonderful thing, and it's making life with him much easier.
On a similar note, I've been trying hard to give him even more attention. It seems to be helping with the undesirable behaviour I had been experiencing. The hitting, kicking, and tantrums seem to be subsiding. I was right when I said that I needed to do better.
BG is surprising me every day as well. Friday night XH and I put her in her jumperoo for the first time. She only lasted a couple of minutes before it was obvious that she was tired, but you could tell that she's going to love it over the next several months. She's so alert now, and wants to be a part of everything. When I say her name, she looks for me. She's fallen in love with Sophie the giraffe and is constantly licking and chewing her. I think she's going to have teeth earlier than her brother did. Tonight I noticed a couple of white spots on her lower gums. For the past month she's been drooling a lot. The last couple of days she's started blowing spit everywhere. It's quite funny. She's much chattier than BB was at this age. Her smile lights up the room, the same way her brother's always did (and still does!)
A friend jokingly wrote on my FB wall wishing me a happy 25th birthday. I shuddered at the idea. I was miserable when I turned 25. I was working in SJ, and was unsure when I'd get to return to Freddy. I wanted kids so badly, but XH wasn't on board. I believe that was the birthday that I ended up in tears at the bar because of the drunken discussion we had about kids. I'd much prefer to be where I'm at now. I'm happy now. I don't think I could have said that then. My life isn't perfect, but I have few complaints.