Thursday, August 9, 2007

Black Cloud

I am currently in week two of my two-week vacation. Very close to the end of week two. :( I usually fill my vacation up with so many activities that I have very little "me time."

Yesterday, I visited with my grandmother and we went out to lunch. We did this a couple of years ago and I had a lovely time with her. This year, she had my cousin staying with her. This cousin (let's call her "K" to make this easier) is a little neglectarino. She used to live across the road from grammy & grampy, and they practically raised her and her older sister. Then when my uncle & aunt split, grammy always had them whenever it was my uncle's turn to have the kids. Talk about making a kid feel unwanted, eh? Anyway, K has always been quiet, slow, and surly looking; however, as a child, she was always very affectionate - she'd jump at every chance to give you a hug or snuggle up with you. When grammy said that she was going to have her yesterday, I wasn't impressed at the idea of 1) dragging someone else's kid around in my car with me and 2) having her cut into my time with grammy. I think grammy could sense my hesitation and said, "Well, we could leave her here. She's 12 now afterall." How can you tell her that she can't come? "You stay here, grammy and I are going for lunch. Have fun being bored!" Sheesh.
Anyway, someone in my family (an aunt, maybe?) used to call K the Little Black Cloud. Well, this little black cloud has turned into a stormfront. OMG. She came into the room, threw herself into a chair and sat there with her arms crossed staring straight ahead. No hello, nothing! When I tried to say hello to her, she grunted at me! Grunted! So grammy and I continued chatting. Then grammy left us alone while she went to the washroom. Here's our conversation:
Me: So are you having a good summer?
K: NO. I'm on depression drugs.
Me: Oh my. Wow. What do they have you on?
K: I don't know! {sounding exasperated}
K: AND I have to go to therapy.
Me: Well, maybe it will help. Try to keep an open mind. {I'm pretty stunned at this point. Is she confiding in me or is she just lacking the sensor that most people have? I'm thinking this kid might be missing a screw or something}
{awkward quiet}
Me: So... what grade are you going into?
K: Seven.
Me: So... do you got to school in {insert town's name here} or in {insert village's name here}?
K: {insert town's name here}
Me: Oh... do they even have a junior high in {insert village's name here}?
K: No.

And that was the end of my attempt to make conversation with her. I've been wondering if maybe this was an attempt to reach out... should I have told her that I was once on an antidepressant as well? Explained to her that it helped me? I don't know. It would have been a one-sided conversation...

The only other words she uttered, were "Sprite", "Hotdog", and "Ketchup" to the waitress at the restaurant. And when she was finished eating and we were waiting for grammy to finish her clams, she said, "How much longer do we have to stay here?" OMG. I felt a little bit of my dad surface at that moment... My response was, "Until grammy finishes her lunch!" A piece of me wanted to smack her. Then grammy starts going on about how slow she is. As far as I'm concerned, if grammy wanted to take two hours eating her bloody clams, she could have taken two hours! As we were leaving the restaurant, I made a point of thanking grammy, and not a word from the stormfront.

We made a brief stop at a convenience store so grammy could buy K some toothpaste, bread, and Sunny D (god forbid the kid drinks OJ!) and again, nothing came out of K's mouth.

When we returned to grammy's she headed directly upstairs to her room. She never said good bye, thank you or anything! Then as grammy and I sat there visiting, grammy made excuses for her. *shaking head* I remember being 12 and I was NOT like that.

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