Monday, April 11, 2011

Happily gushing

I was supposed to go to the gym today at lunch. The gym in my office building sucks though. It's slowly falling apart. My motivation to make it there was quickly devoured by a sudden pile of things that landed on my desk around the same time I intended to go, followed by a growly tummy that demanded food.

So then I told myself I'd hit the treadmill tonight. I was on my way. Really. Then Stephen called for a chat. (You're welcome for the link to your blog.) After gushing to him for half an hour about how wonderful my beau is, I now only want to eat cookies and think happy thoughts about him. Him being my beau, not Stephen. Not that Stephen isn't nice and all... but it would be weird to sit around thinking happy thoughts about him when I'm smitten with someone else.

Tomorrow I'm joining the gym. A real gym. Maybe this will motivate me to start working out again? Or maybe it will just give me one more thing to feel guilty about not having the time for?

...

I just tried recapping how fantastic this past weekend was... The five of us under the same roof together, but it all sounded incredibly 2D. The weekend recap will just have to stay in my memory for as long as possible. I don't want to cheapen any of it by trying to share it without being able to convey the proper feeling behind it.

When we're together, to me, it feels like we're a team. XH and I used to parent well together, and we still do, but looking back, it feels more like I was bossing him around and he learned to anticipate my orders. (Feel free to correct me, XH, if you think that's not accurate.) It's different with MB... and I find it hard to explain. He's thinking of things that haven't even crossed my mind. He's anticipating the kids' needs before I am. He's so very wonderful.

A few moments from this weekend that I know I'll keep forever...

- MB's son and BB playing together with my exercise ball. Progress.

- Walking into the living room after my shower and finding BB snuggled up on the couch with MB.

- MB holding BG at my parents' place while she crammed pie into her mouth. This made for an adorable pic of the two of them. :)

This weekend was a wonderful taste of what life will be like for the five of us together. Not always easy, but definitely worth it.

I feel secure in this relationship... going back and reading some of my posts from early on makes me shake my head. I think that I knew that we had potential to have a great relationship but I was so afraid of blowing it. Now I'm less worried about "blowing it" and more concerned about building something special with the person I love.

My only real insecurity at this point is that I'm taking more than I'm giving. He is giving me so much, it feels like nothing I say or do could possibly compare.

I feel so lucky to have found this connection with such an amazing guy.

3 comments:

Stephen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Stephen said...

Hey! Thanks for the back-handed shoutout! It's nice to know that I can distract you from your exercise routine! SLACKER!

You have no idea how excited I was when I started to read that you were eating cookies and thinking happy thoughts of me! Sure, I thought that it was a little weird to be stating it so publicly, though. Perhaps you might want to keep it on the down low.. like shhhhh.... but then my world was shattered when I got to the part that it wasn't me you were thinking about, but your beau. Hmpf! Fine, I know when I'm not wanted.

And try as I might, I was unable to find a single grammar mistake... although the jury's still out on whether "growly tummy" is a real term!

On a serious note, it is soooo obvious how happy you are... both in your writing, and when I talk to you on the phone. And believe me, it really does warm my heart to know that you are truly happy. I'm so proud of you. You didn't settle! :-)

And I wouldn't worry too much about your level of giving vs receiving. I'm pretty sure that he's feeling that he's just as lucky to have made a connection with an amazing gal.

Now put down the cookies, and get that ass back on the treadmill!

:-)

cuddles said...

I'm all about the back-handed shout-outs. Sorry to disappoint with the cookies and happy thoughts.

You know, you're right, I didn't settle. I hadn't really thought about it before. Thanks for pointing that out!

XH and I finished the cookies last night, and my ass was back on the treadmill today. :)