The whole work thing is starting to seem more and more real every day. Some days I have the "I can make this work!" attitude. Days like today I just want to cry. If I stay home with BB and find an evening job, will I have any energy for life? I'm one of those people who needs at least eight hours of sleep to properly function. I need to take a sick day every couple of months. Not because I'm sick, but because I need a day to recharge my batteries. If I choose this path, that will not be an option.
I've said it before... I can't stand the idea of someone else raising BB. It's our job. But will my time with him be quality? If I take an evening job we won't have the family suppers that I planned on. If I take an evening job, I won't be here for bedtime. But if I take an evening job, will I have the energy to give BB the best days possible?
Why can't I have it all? The money and the time with BB? Okay, I know why, but just indulge me in my whineyness.
I responded to another kijiji ad today. I hadn't contacted anyone since the week I met with my manager. This daycare is about seven minutes from home. The ad was worded nicely and there were no spelling mistakes. Yes, that is important to me. If you can't spell well enough to post an ad on kijiji, you're not going to be spending all day every day with my son. None of the other ads I had responded to really worked out due to location. Location won't be an issue with this one. I'll need to find another excuse not to like it.
DH and I need to sit down and figure out exactly what we need in order to make this work. I don't know where to start. I'm overwhelmed, emotional and I can't think straight.