Wednesday, March 25, 2009

#100! 1 to 25 - The Good, The Bad, The Fugly

I'm no longer AWOL!  I've been battling a huge dose of negativity combined with stress recently and as a result haven't been feeling much like blogging.  And I also knew that my next post (this post!) is number 100, so I wanted to make sure it was a special one... not one ranting about all of my worries.  Perhaps my next post will address those topics.  hehe.  

A short while ago, I did the 25 random things list on Facebook that everyone else was doing at the time.  I said a while ago that I wanted to do a 100 random things list but I can't seem to find the time to finish it, even using the FB list as a starter.  I realized I was stressing about it.  Seriously.  Then I reminded myself that my blog should NOT stress me out!  So, I've compromised with myself.  I'm doing instalments of 25 at a time.  The first 25 are based on the list I did for FB, some are updated, some have more detail than I posted on FB, some are completely new from the list I posted on FB.  

Without further ado... 

1. I gained 60 lbs while I was pregnant. I lost about 20 of it within three days of having BB. I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight by the time he was about six months old. I'm still working on my pre-pregnancy body.

2. I hated school in grade one. I hated not being at home with my mom and brother. Also, I used to look ahead in my school books and worry about assignments we hadn't even reached yet... I particularly remember having a huge meltdown over one in my Language Arts workbook. And if we had a supply teacher, I'd have yet another melt-down because I didn't handle the unexpected change well.  I still don't handle unexpected change well.

3. I love to bake. Yet I never seem to have enough time to do this as often as I'd like.

4. I love knitting. Again, I don't seem to have enough time for this either. I'd love to have the time to do a big project from beginning to end. As it is, I stick to smaller ones in hopes that I might actually complete them... even that doesn't always happen.

5. I'm proud that I am breastfeeding BB, and I had hoped that we would be able to keep at it until he is at least two years old. Now that we're planning on BN2, I'm not sure how or if this goal is going to work out.  I'm already hearing comments that make it seem like I should have stopped by now, but I'm not going to let them get me down. The benefits to him far outweigh society's poo-pooing at us..

6. I cannot do dishes without wearing rubber gloves. I can't stand dishwater scum and pruney fingers.

7. I wish I could go back to school to become a dietician or something along that line.

8. I am very scared of heights. Very. I'm kind of like a cat--I can get up, but can't get back down.

9. Even while I was pregnant, I wasn't 100% sure I wanted to be a mother. Now it frightens me to think that I almost missed out on all of this.

10. I have five dogs and a cat. Only the cat and two of the dogs were planned. The other three dogs just "happened." 

11. When asked, I'll usually say my favourite colour is black, but I really don't have a favourite.

12. I make all of BB's baby food myself. I have never opened a jar of food for him. He has never been fed processed food. I know he will not always eat as healthy, but as long as I am able to choose what goes into his little body, he's going to get the best foods possible.

13. I worry about whether people like me, more than I probably should. But once I have confirmation that they do not like me, I am able to write them off.

14. I often feel like I lack the sensor between my brain and my mouth. Later I replay the conversations I've had and the things I've said, and worry that I've said something that someone took the wrong way.

15. I don't like team sports because I don't like relying on other people when it comes to winning. Yet, I did enjoy flyball, but there's so much more to that particular game than just winning. But winning is good too. :)

16. I broke up with my boyfriend in grade 10 because his grandfather bought him a leather jacket.  It was black and covered in shiny zippers.  I could smell him coming.... that awful cheap leather smell mixed with cigarette smoke.  People were making fun of him and I was embarrassed to be seen with him.  I wasn't all that fond of him after four months together, and he was cheating on me (unless his father really *was* putting those hickeys on his neck with the vacuum cleaner??) but the jacket cinched it.  

17. Turning 25 was very depressing for me. Turning 30 didn't bother me at all. 

18. I took sewing in grade nine, and took another sewing course a few years ago, and I still don't know how to sew. I'd really love to learn. And I know I can do it, I just need someone who is willing and able to teach me.

19. I had awesome marks through elementary school and junior high, but in high school I stopped worrying about being the best in the class. I was only a face in the crowd at FHS, and I felt that I had no motivation to excel. Passing was good enough for me. The only classes I really cared about doing exceptionally well in were my business classes. 

20. In high school I wanted to be a funeral home director; however, I knew that I wasn't ready to move away to Nova Scotia on my own to take the course. Instead, I settled on Business Tech at NBCC.

21. I think that my brother "gets" me more than anyone else. 

22. When I first started using Facebook, I was constantly 'writing' status updates in my head.  I don't do this very often now; instead, I am always 'writing' blog entries in my head.  But when I sit down in front of my computer I either can't remember what I intended to write about or the words come out all wrong on the screen.

23. My favourite band is Barenaked Ladies. My favourite concert EVER was their concert in Saint John in 2007. I even have a CD of the concert, and I think I have every word from the concert memorized. 

24. I miss being pregnant and can't wait to be pregnant again.  Even though I know I'm not pregnant yet, I keep thinking like I am. 

25. I love a rich, bold, dark-roasted coffee. 


ML said...

A vacuum cleaner?? very "original"! Well done with the list though. Cool idea! xo

cuddles said...

Hehe. Yep, a vacuum cleaner. LOL. And when I confronted him about the whole thing he was practically in tears telling me how his dad held him down when they were wrestling and put the vacuum cleaner to his neck. OMG, I can't stop laughing right now. I can still remember the look on his face, 15 years later! Last I heard he was in jail... there was a lovely article about him online that featured the do-good stuff he was doing while he was in jail. Great guy. ;o) I'm just grateful that he got that jacket so I finally had a reason to break it off. LMAO!

Thanks for the note. :) It's always so nice to hear from you. xo

LLW said...

Thanks for sharing - love reading these, you always learn so much about a person. :)

Vaccum cleaner...hillarious!

5 dogs ??'ll have to do a post and tell us about your pets for sure now! :)

Way to go on breastfeeding. It's such a 'debate' topic these days; and even I myself can't see myself doing it when I have children, but of course you can't make that call until you do - just seems icky to me now though. There is a great blog post on all and sundry about breastfeeding that came from a lady who did a cartoon and people hating getting formula in the turned into a huge debate on there and is a must read!

I always talk before I think...and I'm always more sarcastic and blunt than I mean..I'm a much better writer than talker. haha

cuddles said...

breathin', when we first started talking about having a baby, I thought I'd breastfeed to save money. When people would ask me if I was going to breastfeed, I'd say, "I'd like to try." Then I started reading up on it. The more I read the more convinced I was that there would be no other option for me and my baby. It's a huge commitment, but I figure that if I'm going to bring a baby into the world I want to give him the absolute best start possible. I look at this year off work as my chance to do exactly that. I could talk about this topic forever. (As you've probably noticed! Maybe I should do a post on it, if I could ever get all my thoughts on the topic even somewhat organized.) I try not to bring it up with people because I have a hard time being neutral about it, or saying, "Hey, good for you for formula feeding!" Just can't do it. I actually read the debate on the All and Sundry blog about the formula. I believe in Canada that the formula companies are not allowed to randomly mail formula to you--you actually have to request it from them. I did just for the free bag that came with it, and then I donated the formula. :) I showed them. haha.

As for the dogs, I've been meaning to do a post for each of them and just haven't gotten there yet! They're all pretty cool and each pup has its own unique personality.

Sadly, I write the same way I talk. I'm everywhere all at once with a million words running through my head and spewing either out of my fingertips or my mouth! ;o)

Thanks for the note. :) xo

Independent Chick said...

Thanks for sharing. Some of this I knew. Other things I just smiled. You're too cool cuddles. : )

cuddles said...

Independent Chick, I'm curious if you knew any of this from the Saturdays we used to spend together or it's just stuff that you've picked up via the blog and FB. :) Either way, I'm glad to have made you smile. xo

Independent Chick said...

Saturdays for sure. : ) Those were some good times. xo

cuddles said...

Good times indeed. Feels like a lifetime ago though. xo

Emilie said...

Loved your list! I can totally identify with most of it. I think being a funeral home director would be a cool job. Well, maybe not cool, but a very honorable job...and you'd never run out of clients.

Great job on still breastfeeding! Graedy is 14 months now, and we are just winding down. I'll miss it :( .

I <3 BNL, too!!

cuddles said...

Thanks, Emilie! :)

The funeral home director thing appealed to me because I was really comfortable in that environment, and it seemed like a way to help people when they really needed it. I'd still like to work in a funeral home, but I don't think I could handle being a funeral home director now. I think that now that the maturity has kicked in I'd have a harder time dealing with the actual physical part of the work.

Thanks for the breastfeeding encouragement! And kudos to you for sticking with it for so long! :)

And I'm ALWAYS happy to hear from another BNL fan! Did you get their free download of their first concert as a foursome?