Tuesday, May 26, 2009

A Quick Update

My first day back to work was great.  My new manager and my old manager took me out to lunch.  Most of the office dropped by my desk to welcome me back.  I was able to start getting my feet wet in my new position.  BB had a fantastic day with my mom yesterday.  I felt very positive about everything last night.

Tonight, I want to sit here and cry.  How do people do this?  

I miss BB during the day.  Last night when I went to bed, I almost got him out of his crib to bring him to bed with me.  I knew he'd be up soon enough though.  I only had to wait an hour for him.

My new manager told me a couple of weeks ago (when we met to discuss this new position) that she doesn't micro-manage.  I'm starting to suspect that she does micro-manage.  She also told me that she's not a clock-watcher, that I'll be independent and have freedom.  I'm beginning to think that the words 'independence' and 'freedom' mean something different to me than they do to her.  I still think she's a nice person and all, but I don't think this new position is going to be quite what I was hoping for.  

On the bright side, BB really does seem to be enjoying his time with Grammy this week, and I'm enjoying coming home to a happy baby and a clean house.  It's too bad it's only for the week.  But, it's good that he's going to be going to a sitter's with other kids, right?  

I need to keep reminding myself that things will get better.  They have to.  Otherwise, I'll end up on meds again.  

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