Monday, June 29, 2009

Overwhelming Rage

Since returning to work, I've been surprisingly happy with my job.  It's nice to be doing something new. 


In my old job, Sunday nights were awful.  I was filled with such dread over what the following week would bring.  I used to drink on Friday nights to wash away the terribleness of the week so that I could enjoy the weekend.  After I left for maternity leave, my job was split between two people.  One of the people had a few additional duties that weren't part of my job, but basically, one person was unable to replace me.  I had been doing the work of two people.  And about half way through my leave, my former position was split again.  Once again, one person has a few extra duties that I didn't have, but it seems that even what was left was still too much for one person to do alone. 


These days, Sunday nights are an evening where I am able to reflect on the good times I had over the weekend with DH and BB.  I don't dread coming into work.  In fact, I look forward to getting back into my work each day.  As everyone knows, I'd still rather be home with BB, but if I have to work, I couldn't ask to be happier at the moment. 


Until this morning.  I arrived to discover I had received a condescending email from someone who has given me grief non-stop over the years.  And suddenly I'm filled with the rage that used to overwhelm me several times a day in my old job.  What an awful feeling.  My first instinct was to hit reply and send her an equally condescending email, but I know it wouldn't get me anywhere; it would only begin one of our infamous email wars.  And my new manager happens to be a fan of this person, so should I get into a war with her, there's a chance my manager would side with the enemy anyway.  One of the (few) good things about my old job was that I knew my manager had my back.  So here I sit, trying to be mature, trying to bite my tongue.  But I've suddenly lost my motivation to dive in today and get lots done.  I feel like I need to go to the bathroom to have a cry, and punch something.  I feel like I've gone back in time. 


The really annoying part is, I've tried to be kind to this person since returning to work.  I've changed over the past year.  Work is less important to me.  Life is too short to be annoyed by people like this.  I've chit-chatted her up.  I've been very friendly.  The whole purpose of the email exchange that resulted in the nastygram I received this morning was something I was doing to try to help her.  Well, chicky, guess what?  Somehow you have always managed to bring out the worst in me.  I'm not as mature as I thought I was.  If this is how you want things to be, fine, this is the way they are.  Say ciao to the friendly cuddles…  the bitch is back. 


Independent Chick said...

You're still's human nature to be pissed when you try to be a good person and you still get screwed. Don't stoop to her level and don't compromise the person you are and have become over the past year. Life is too short to worry about bitches like that. Keep your chin up and carry on. XX

cuddles said...

Thanks, Chick. I'm trying to be the big girl here, but all I can think about is how much I'd like to kick her in the shins. ;o) But she'll never know. hehe. xo