Thursday, April 15, 2010

The sun, moon, and stars

There is another post I started almost a week ago that I haven't finished yet... I just can't seem to get the focus I need to finish it. However, I feel the need to write about this situation, so I'm jumping around a bit.

In the course of my friendship with Handsome, I've been finding out all sorts of little things that have made me raise an eyebrow. Things that don't add up with what he originally told me when we first started chatting online, or even things that he didn't tell me while we were seeing one another, that I feel he should have filled me in on. I wondered whether or not to confront him on these things, or if it would just make me seem crazy, since it's all in the past. I decided to sit on it, and if the opportunity arises, I would bring it up then. I find it amusing that I've gotten the truth more often as his friend than as more. At this point, I'm definitely okay with just being his friend and nothing more. I still care about him greatly, but am not hoping for more than friendship from him anymore.

I try not to talk about other people's "stuff" here. This isn't a gossip blog. ;o) But I will sometimes mention things in relation to how they affect me. Handsome is going through some major stuff right now. As his friend, I am going to do whatever I can to support him though this ordeal. To be honest, I have no way of knowing for certain whether he is innocent or not since I wasn't there to see what happened, but as his friend I have to believe what he is telling me and support him 100%, so that is what I am doing. And I do believe him. I was thinking about this last night, and decided that even if he told me that he wasn't innocent, I would still support him. I would be angry with him for being dishonest with me, but that would be confronted and dealt with. Not that I think that would happen. Just sayin'.

I sometimes go back and forth on the whole "things happen for a reason" mentality. Sometimes I think that is true; other times I think that no, that isn't the case, but that we do need to look for the silver lining in the things that happen. Today, I seem to be sitting in the "things happen for a reason" camp. I feel like he came into my life at a time when I needed a boost, and since that time he's helped me through many rough patches. I even give him credit for saving BB's life when he was so sick. I'm grateful for all of the kicks in the pants he's given me to make me take action. And now I feel like I've been put in his life to help support him through this. We had one of our typical mushy moments last night where we gush at one another. He had been out with someone he has been good friends with for many many years -- one of those friends that doesn't keep score, and is there for you no matter what happens. He told me that I'm in the same category as that other friend. I'm glad he sees that. Isn't it funny the way relationships change over time?

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