Sunday, October 3, 2010



I don't want to prattle on and on about this, but since I've documented everything else, why not this too? Once again, H has removed me as a friend on FB. He did say to me in May, "FB isn't real life, Cuddles", yet he was incredibly quick to add me again when they broke up at the beginning of August.

Anyway, today was already a yucky day before I realized he had done this again, and this just adds to it. To make it even better, I had the feeling from my family that they were wondering if I was seeing anyone. Then when my parents showed up today while I was in my funk, my mother asked me if "anyone" had upset me. I told her no, because the only one upsetting me was me. I know she stalks my FB (that's an entirely separate post that will be coming at some point) and will notice that he's not my friend anymore. Because she tends to speculate and makes up stories to fill in the gaps, I'm sure my bad mood today will be because of another fall out with him. Grrrr.

I told myself that when this happened (because I knew it would) I wasn't going to say anything to him. But I couldn't resist and fired him off a message. Not the first one I typed, thankfully, but the third one. And about five minutes after I hit send, I thought of a much better, "lighter" message, but I guess it's too late.

I'm tired of the games. It's better this way. I know that. And I realize that I've made him out to be the devil. I tend to do that... share the bad, keep the good locked away inside of myself. But for the record, he really was a great guy. However, many of the reasons why I loved him (is past tense right here? I don't know anymore) are also the reasons why he acts the way he does... which is probably why I've always been so forgiving of his actions.

I have a feeling that he's probably embarrassed about all of this back and forth he's been doing, and the next time they split up, I won't be on his call list.


The Original Princess said...

It's not my place to say much but every time you write about this topic and think to myself..."She is so much better than him. She deserves better than him."
Cuddles, you deserve to somebody's #1. Don't settle for being the runner up. You're worth more than that.

cuddles said...

Thanks, Princess. It's always nice to know you're in my corner.

Independent Chick said...

I'm with Princess. And...I've been in your shoes. I look at it now and wonder 'what was I thinking?!' Sure, there were a ton of good times and he was very loving and kind and sweet AND he played the game well. A game that shouldn't be played. H is doing that to you. He is consuming you. Time for H rehab. You can do so much better.


Tim Scammell, PTech said...

H needs a visit soon from a few friends of mine..
Oh, did I say that out loud?