Wednesday, November 10, 2010

This post can't explain how I'm feeling

Two days ago (Nov. 8) I received both an email and a phone call from H asking if I would go to dinner with him to catch up. We've been emailing back and forth a bit recently, and it wasn't until earlier in the day of the 8th that I actually emailed him first just to see how he was liking his new phone. It was a small attempt on my part to reach out to him. Somehow he recognized it and that was when he called and emailed.
I agreed and we went out tonight. He apologized. He gave me the explanations I asked for. We've never been so honest with one another. We both teared up a few times. He admitted he had been a jerk and an ass. That he had been insensitive. Oh, and we laughed our asses off.
I told him that I fully expected that he and her would get back together in three days and I'd be kicked to the curb again. He assured me that it wasn't going to happen. He recognizes that he's hurt me and that will take not only time but also him proving his words.
He left at 3am. I don't know what the future holds and I'm trying not to over think it. He wanted to make plans with me for New Years since we rang in the last new year together in front of our computers chatting, just a few days before meeting in person. I told him that I didn't think that planning ahead that far was a good idea. I take things so literally that if we make plans and they don't happen, it will be too hard on me.
So for now, I'm happy that I seem to have my friend back. I still have feelings for him. I'm quite certain he knows it. We'll see how things play out over the next while.

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