Sunday, February 20, 2011

Meeting #10

I've changed a lot over the past year or so. I see it every day. Things I used to worry about no longer worry me. Things I used to be uptight about are no longer issues. I have a better understanding of the world.

I've kept in touch with this guy on and off since May. So many times it's felt like we were going to start fighting over MSN. He seemed like he was just trying to tease me, but it always felt like it had undertones of bitterness. I knew that he felt like I had judged him because I wasn't okay with some of his lifestyle choices, and he called me judgmental at every opportunity.

H and I talked about the whole thing back when it happened. I specifically recall feeling so strained during the conversation... we were barely talking, and yet there he was still giving me advice. I asked, "How can I tell my kids that doing these activities is okay for (let's make this one "Bachelor F") but it's not okay for them?" As always, H took the other person's side. He told me that I could always explain to the kids that I don't agree with what Bachelor F does, but that it is his decision to make.

It took a while for me to mull that one over, but after a while, I did start to see a work-around. I wanted to tell this to Bachelor F, but I wasn't sure if there was any point in telling him I'd had a change of heart. Every time we talked in the summer, it felt like we might start ripping each other to shreds. He was always picking on me. I was quite certain that he didn't even like me. And I wasn't about to tell him that I was sensitive to his special brand of joking, and that he was actually being hurtful, because that would have only given him more to work with if he really was being intentionally mean.

Anyway, over the last couple of months we've chatted on and off again, but with less of that negativity. In all honesty, he just seemed to come online and say hi when he was horny. I assumed it was just because I lived nearby, and he thought there might be a chance I'd tell him to come over. No idea. Anyway, those convos have been okay and much more positive.

Last night he crossed my mind for whatever reason, so I popped onto MSN to see if he was online. He was, we chatted for a bit, and I'm not sure which one of us suggested it, but he ended up bringing beer, pizza, some movies, and his dog over and we stayed up until after 02:00 watching movies together, at which point BG decided it was time for me to go to bed.

Apparently I'm significantly different than he expected. I'm still not certain what he expected. He did say that he didn't get my quirkiness over MSN. Understandable. He's pretty much what I expected. Maybe a bit nicer. Okay, a whole lot nicer.

We talked a bit about what went down between us previously while he was here last night, and we've been texting a bit tonight, sorting it out, making apologies where required. I'm still marveling at the fact that he sees me so differently now after meeting me. It blows my mind that he really did seem to think that I was a bitch.

As with everything, I have no idea if there is potential there. I'm interested in getting to know him more though.

No comments: