Disbelief (September 4, 2007)

Wow. I just found this in my drafts from September 4, 2007 and thought I'd post it, since I took the time to write it! Keep in mind it is outdated!

According to the website (babycenter.ca) I'm five weeks along. I'll be six weeks on Sunday. I'm still very excited and hubby is really starting to come around too. It was rough early this week. He didn't want to talk about it, and even suggested that we should just tell our parents over the phone rather than in person! Ouch. There were a lot of tears Monday night over that one. Inside, it seems like I've known since the very beginning, but for him, Monday wasn't even 48 hours of digesting the news. So I'm sure I was probably overwhelming him a bit. But since then, he's loosened up a bit, and I'm so happy! He's said that he's okay with using my grandfather's & father's name as a boy's name (I mentioned in a Facebook quiz a couple of months ago that I wanted to name a little boy this name, and he remembered that and brought it up!) and he also suggested inviting all of our parents over to tell them all at once. As for names, he wants me to make a shortlist of girl's names, and he wants to have veto power. He's already vetoed my grandmother's middle name, which I'm really disappointed about.

The last couple of days, I've been paranoid that maybe I am not actually pregnant. My breasts are super sore, and I do experience a bit of nausea, but other than that it just doesn't seem real. The test is supposed to be > 99% accurate, and I've read everywhere that you're more likely to get a false negative than a false positive, but I still am paranoid that I messed up the test somehow. I want to take another test, but I don't want to spend the money. And I'm worried that it will say negative. I know that all the signs still point to "Yes, you are pregnant!" It's just paranoia.

I go to the doctor on September 26 @ 1:30. Another week and a half of not having it confirmed for sure. I wish the appointment was sooner.

We're going to a flyball tournament this weekend. I'm nervous that my little she-devil is going to punch me in the gut and make me miscarry or something. Or that I'm going to over-do it and miscarry. I'm living in a world of paranoia right now. But I don't want to be one of those girls that need to be put up on a pedestal just because they're pregnant. And I don't want my child to be put on a pedestal when she's born either. We live an active life, and she's going to be there by our side throughout all of the fun and games!