Saturday, November 15, 2008

Things aren't as they seem...

Anyone who knows me very well knows that I have huge issues with drugs. Mainly due to ignorance, but they scare the bejesus out of me. I've never touched them, and can't really picture myself ever trying them now.

Late this afternoon I get a phone call from someone that I love and cherish very much. He told me that he has been using 'soft' drugs for a long time now, but has decided to stop due to an incident he had last weekend. I had no idea this had been going on. I consider myself to be very close to him, so this came as a huge shock to me. I'm afraid I didn't handle it very well. I feel like I don't even know him anymore. And I told him this. I think I've hurt him. We were both in tears on the phone. I quickly loaded BB into his carseat and we headed over to his house so I could see him and make sure everything is okay with us.

He has promised me and other people that are important in his life that he is done with it all. I told him he needs to stop for himself, not for us. I'm worried that if he does start again, he'll be doing it on the sly again, and completely beating himself up over it because he has broken the promise he made to us.

Tonight I feel like I'm second guessing everything that I know to be true in my life.

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