Friday, January 16, 2009

A Little Bit of Sleep

It's been my mission this week to try to start feeling human again.  I've been staying up far to late each night, and then have to get up once during the night with BB, and he's been getting up around 06:00 each morning.  So this week, I've been trying to get to bed by 21:00; 22:00 at the latest.  Early in the week I even skipped pumping and caught a 30 minute nap while he had his morning nap.  And then the night before last happened... the one where he wouldn't sleep in his own bed happened.  If I didn't feel like a complete zombie before, I certainly did after that night!  So my mission that yesterday was to sleep whenever he slept.  During his morning nap, I think I managed to fall asleep before he did.  And by some miracle his afternoon nap lasted 2.75 hours (amazing, since they've only been an hour lately) and I managed to sleep for about two of those hours!  And last night I was in bed by 22:00.  Today I feel like a new person.  

This has been an important reminder that I really do need to take care of myself.  It's been complete selfishness and stupidity keeping me up at night.  Do I really need to sit here checking FB, reading blogs, writing blog entries, sending emails, etc. every night.  No, the world isn't going to stop just because I'm not checking in.  But it's so nice to connect with people and feel like I'm a part of a community.  

I've never been an overly social person.  But once we got Fluffy, all that changed.  We were suddenly going to obedience classes and joining dog sports, making all kinds of friends along the way.  And that new 'social' me also started making friends outside of the doggy circle as well, I started running and exercising, and I was going out to dinner with all of these friends, or planning a run followed by a trip to the coffee shop, or an evening of aquacize followed by a late night trip for some food to fill our exercised bellies, or making day trips to visit them.  Over the last eight months all of that has come to a grinding halt.  I have NO complaints.  I secretly longed for the days when life was a bit quieter and I actually got to spend time at home.  But all that being said, it's still nice to feel like I'm a part of a community, and getting that feeling through the Internet is a safe, convenient way for me to achieve that. 

However, these last few days have been a huge reminder that even though I'm not out and about doing a million things, I can still get run down.  I'm not the only one relying on me.  BB needs me to be on my game.  He's learning so fast right now, I can't be zombie-like.  I was alert today, and I noticed a difference in him.  I stood him up in front of the living room chair and showed him how to hold on to keep himself up and steady.  Next thing I knew, he was trying to climb up the front of the couch to stand on his own.  Then he was trying to climb everything in the living room.  He learned from what I showed him.  Earlier in the week, I didn't have the energy to even think of trying to help him along.  

All that being said, it's almost 22:00.  Time for me to hit the hay.  Good night, Internet.  

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