We spent about three hours visiting at T's house. The boys were so cute together. T's little guy, N, is about 17 months, and did not want to share his toys with BB. Every toy BB had, N would snatch it out of his hand. BB didn't mind, he was pretty groggy acting the whole time we were there. I think he was a bit overwhelmed being in a different place with different people and different toys. We really need to get out more.
I've always felt uncomfortable in social situations. But when I'm with my immediate family or a few close friends, I never feel that way. Yesterday, I was with one of my BFFs, and felt like I was socially inept. I realized about half way though the visit that I was hardly talking. So then I started stressing over the fact that I wasn't talking, and really couldn't think of anything to say other than, "I don't know what to say." I think it might have been a bit different if her husband wasn't there too. He spent the entire visit hanging out with us and the boys. Not a big deal, but it really does turn on my censor. Also, I find it hard to have a real conversation when there are two kids on the scene. Someone always needs attention. So in that situation, I find that I don't even bother trying a whole lot to make deep conversation or tell stories because it's usually completely disjointed or ends up being left unfinished.
I've been feeling out of place whenever I'm in a group of people lately. I wonder if all of my much-loved home time might be making me less confident around other people. It was so surprising to have that same feeling yesterday though. I'm going to chalk it up to me being overtired from the 5am wake-ups these past few weeks, the anxiety about making the return trip home, the little ones needing attention, and the extra person with us.
And, if I do get to stay home with BB instead of returning to work full time, I think we definitely need to find a play group--for both him and me!