She is the only grandparent I have left. I've had a lot of time to think and reflect this past year, and I've realized that my feelings toward her are complicated. I see a lot of her qualities in me... and it's not the good qualities in myself that I see reflected. Don't get me wrong, she's not a bad person by any means. She had a tough marriage and had to work hard, and then she assisted greatly in raising two of her grandchildren for several years. But the negativity is often oozing from her. I know that it doesn't necessarily consume her, but it's there, and it's very obvious. I feel the need to try to NOT be like her, which leads to some complicated feelings.
But at the end of the day, I still love my grandmother and have lots of great memories of time spent with her. I hope she's going to be okay.