Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Questions that make me say, "Ugh."

I've been asked three questions over the past three days that I've been unable to answer very well because I was put on the spot. Okay, not all three are actual questions, but all three should have had a decent response on my part, but instead I was so shocked that the question was asked (or the comment was made) that I couldn't really say anything meaningful or worthwhile... These are somewhat paraphrased because these conversations took place over the last few days and although I have a good memory, I don't always remember every little word. ;o)

1. "I know you still care about me. Is it difficult for you to spend so much time on the phone with me and with me?" "Ummmm... no, not at all. I'm happy to be have the opportunity to spend time with you again." "Cut the crap, cuddles. That's a canned response. How do you really feel?" Ugh.

2. "I know you'll do anything for me. You've proven it. Why is it that you'd do that for me?" "Because I care." Really, what more could I say to that one? Although I have come up with some additional responses since then, most go back to the one I gave. Ugh.

3. "Can I be direct with you?" "Always." "You still look at me with that dreamy look." "I do?" "Yes, you do." "I'm sorry, does that bother you?" Ugh.


Independent Chick said...

Cuddles, I don't think there is anything wrong with your answers. I kind of question his questions... I'm asking this somewhat rhetorically because I don't know the situation but, why is he asking? Is he looking for reassurance on something? And why would he want that when he decided that you guys are just going to be friends? How would he feel if you asked the same thing?

Like I say, I don't know the situation but on the outside, looking in, I see him asking for something from you that he himself is not willing to give. He gets to hear that you are happy with him. He gets to hear that you care. What are you getting? Of course, you don't need to answer that!!!! Just wondering because I care about you and what you need.

Don't question your answers. You were honest, as you always are. One of your wonderful qualities.

cuddles said...

You know what's funny? So many people remark on my honesty and the fact that I'm down-to-earth, but it really seems to get me nowhere. I just keep spinning my wheels. Or so it seems, anyway. Perhaps there's something going on, but it's happening so slowly that I don't see it happening.

As for his questions, I think they were inspired by a combination of factors. Partially making conversation, partially asking for my experience to apply it elsewhere, partially looking for a self-esteem boost. I don't think he's looking for reassurance in his relationship with me or in my feelings for him. I'm quite certain that he feels that ship has sailed.

I generally avoid asking him such probing questions, because the answers usually sting.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I really appreciate it. More food for thought is always a good thing. xo

Independent Chick said...

It will get you somewhere. Never change the way you are. Payback will come...in a great way. : )

And as I said, you know the situation and the context of his questions. That was just me on the outside looking in.

I admire you very much...wish I had an 1/8th of your strength when my relationship went down the shitter.

Take care. xo