Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Dashing dreams

Way back in high school, I decided that I wanted to be a funeral home director. At the time, you had to go away to school in Nova Scotia (Kentville maybe?) and at 18, I wasn't ready to move that far away from home all by myself. There was really no encouragement from my parents, so the dream was pushed aside and I went with my second choice.

I found out today that there is now a correspondence course that I can take to enter this field. To say I was excited is an understatement. Who knows whether or not I'll actually pursue it, but it's definitely interesting to look into, and it's nice to know I have the option now.

I was excitedly telling my mother about this and this is her response: "Well, it's a lot of evenings... weekends. A lot of shift work. You don't want to deal with that." WTF? Thanks for your bloody encouragement. I really should know better than to mention anything that might be the least bit risky to her, because there's no way I'll get any support on it. Sure, if life throws me a curve ball (like last fall) she's all over it, wanting to help, wanting to do all the work to pull me through, wanting to rescue me. But when it comes to going out on a limb because I want to, and because I know that in the long run it would make me happier, it's met with negativity.

Lately I'm having a hard time biting my tongue around her. I'm sure she thinks I'm a complete bitch, but I'm really getting tired of being told what I do and don't want. My response today was, "Yes, it might be, but it would be nice to have a job that I love and am not miserable doing every day. Plus, my current job probably won't be around much longer." It doesn't sound so bad typed out, but trust me, the daggers I was shooting at her made this sound much more bitter, and I know she picked up on it. No apology ensued, just silence. *sigh*


Emilie said...

Go for it! I think it's a great job. Think about it - every single person is a potential client. You'd never run out of work. I've always regretted not going for what I really wanted because of other people's fears. Eventually, we have to cut the apron strings and not worry about what others are scared of (even if they are our parents).

Independent Chick said...

Ummmmm, I've been down this road before. Cuddles, do what you want to do. I know that we always want to please our parents and keep them relatively happy. We hope they will be our biggest cheerleaders but at the end of the day, the reality is that maybe they won't be. Though that sucks a bit, we still need to do what makes us happy so that we have no regrets.

And there is no harm in telling your Mother how you feel and how she makes you feel. It seems to be a misconception, that I have run into with many people, that to tell someone how we feel, and not have it in line with what THEY want, is a bad thing. It's not. It's your feelings and there is never anything wrong with your feelings AND expressing how you feel. That doesn't mean you have to be a bitch/asshole when you express your thoughts and feelings but you should never hold yourself back. I like to call is communication. LOL!

I think it's great you're looking into this. Be sure to keep us posted on what you find.

bighugs : )

Stephen Belyea said...

Don't be afraid to follow your dreams. If you're passionate about any line of work, then it's totally within your grasp! Run with it and don't look back. :-)

Tim Scammell, PTech said...

Cuddles, I really really want to say something about this but my situation is different than yours and your relationship with your mom is different than mine was.
Just this. Try your best to appreciate your mother for who she is and what she does even if it pisses you off.
You can't take words and feelings back and when she's gone you may wish you could.
That's all. You can email me anytime if you want. I would like to talk more if you want. tim4nm@gmail.com.
Or not, that's up to you.
Have a peek at my latest blog if you get a moment.

Take care,

Tim Scammell, PTech said...

Oh by the way, there is a very well respected funeral director course at Humber College in Toronto.
I went there for Civil Engineering but we hung out with the funeral director students because they were the most fun.
True story. :)

cuddles said...

Thanks for your input, everyone! As always, your thoughts are appreciated!
Tim - I'm not surprised that the funeral director students would have been the most fun! Fun or not though, I can't see myself heading to Toronto to go to school! :)