Saturday, July 24, 2010


Lately I've been feeling... what's the best way to describe it? Tied down? Caged? No, they both sound far too negative. But I've been feeling like I needed some time away. Some time for me to just be myself and not "mommy".

Today I got exactly that, in the form of a pedicure and lunch out with two of my close friends. I was very concerned because I didn't know if BG would take the bottle of milk I had left for her; she refused it the last two times I've left her with someone. After the pedicure, I called home to check in, and was told that her bottle was being warmed and that all was fine. So we proceeded to the restaurant, but shortly after arriving (two hours and fifteen minutes after leaving home) I was overcome with these incredible pangs of longing to rush home to be with BG again. Seriously, I couldn't wait to get out this morning, and after only two hours, all I wanted to do was be with her again. I spent the entire lunch feeling anxious and jittery. She didn't leave my arms for over two hours after I returned home.

I might have been worried about this "dependency", if I hadn't read in an attachment parenting book just yesterday that connected parents have difficulty being away from their babies for any length of time. It was nice to have that unexpected validation today. I'm happy to know that I'm doing something right.

As I look into the big blue eyes of my little girl, while she flips from her back to her front and back again, I can say with complete honesty that I'm happy to be here with her. Apparently "mommy" is exactly who I'm supposed to be right now.

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