I'm feeling desperate right now. There has to be a better way. This isn't how I ever pictured raising my children. I was supposed to be home with them. And even if something happened that I had to work, there was supposed to be a husband here to help out. And weekends weren't supposed to be split like this.
I know I keep saying that in the long run it's good that XH left, because we weren't the perfect match, but I'd rather still be in my pathetic excuse of a marriage than lose out on the time with my kids like this. I now understand why some couples choose to stay together until their kids are grown up. I'm not saying that would have been the right thing for us to do, but this isn't feeling right either.
What's the solution here? Start funneling all of my money directly to Atlantic Lotto?
Gah. Writing about this was supposed to make me feel better. Instead I'm sitting here in tears.