Pictures

A friend of mine (she's more N's friend than mine, but I do know her from work) did pics of the kids for me this weekend. She's a wonderful and talented photographer, and also a super nice person. She took pics of BG when she was 10 days old, and they were so adorable. She took a few pics of BB at the same time, and although he was uncooperative, she still managed to get a few beautiful shots of him. So asking her to do pics again was a no-brainer, even though I had to scrape the money together for it.

She set up a FB page for her business not too long ago. Recently she announced a contest on the page. For every 100 followers, she'd give away a free one hour photo session. She gave away her first one this morning... to the chick that XH cheated on me with. She posted message announcing the winner's name, and then her next post was an album of my children.

I know it's just a weird coincidence, but is this what the rest of my life will be like? Having her turn up unexpectedly like this? The whole thing was really upsetting for me. I know that the pics are posted publicly so anyone can see them, but I still feel uncomfortable knowing that she's looking at them. I feel uncomfortable having her name directly beneath pics of my children.

I tried to be accepting of her while she was in XH's life (and BB's life, as a result) but I really don't like her. I don't blame her for XH's actions; however, I do not believe she is a "good" person. Anyone who can hook up with a guy knowing that he's married, has a baby, and another baby on the way is a person with poor judgement and weak morals. Definitely not the kind of person I want to be associated with, nor do I want my children associated with.

I've tried to move on from everything that happened last fall/winter/spring, and embrace the fact that XH and I are good friends who get along wonderfully, and who have two beautiful children together. But that doesn't mean that the past doesn't still ache. It does. Painfully at times. Today is one of those days.