It's just amusing...
Tonight marks the end of day three. I told him Tuesday night that I expected him to fall off the face of the earth again after three days... the usual pattern. He assured me that he won't. We even have a bet on it. :) I hope he wins.
Poor XH had to listen to as I prattled on about this tonight, picked his brain, asked for advice... It was nice to have someone here to talk to about it. Someone who doesn't give false hope, doesn't seem to judge me for my irrational feelings, doesn't bash H, and doesn't minimize what I'm feeling.
Well, I've survived another day. One day closer to an answer. Just not sure how long the wait will be.
I wish now that I asked the question Tuesday night... but at that point, I only knew I wanted to address it and wasn't sure how. I need to stop kicking myself.